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Poetry :: Articles :: Caron
In Their Words

All poems that appear have been submitted and reprinted with the permission of the authors. Copyrights are retained by the original authors and you must contact them for permission to reprint. If you have a poem you'd like to submit yourself please send it to POETRY@something-fishy.com

I was craving
by: Anonymous

I was craving food this morning at 6:20 when I woke-
I ate a proper breakfast-got too full it was a joke...
But my stomach lied and told me that it could not hold no more
Yet later that sensation changed when at work I grew so bored.

I salivated sugar thoughts-sweet nectars taste of joy
Think of forbidden things of my stomach I make void...
But I wanted to hold steadfast- I had packed a bag on snacks-
JAMMED up with veggies and lots of fruit to avoid bullshit attacks...

But for Valentine's Day boss thought it nice - to hook the office up so nice,
and on my desk for all to share was a good stuff that would entice...
My stomach-since was in plain view of those frosted iced up treats-Could think of nothing like an addict of eating every treat...

1 ate 5 standing, took a 6th, put 15 into my pocket
I crept away and blankly crammed without a thought to block it...

I don't know if i had even tasted - those countless calories
I'll hide and eat so many sweets where no one can see me
I am a pig, I binge with food, I've eaten butter raw-

My craving food consumes me-with my mind's relentless gnaw...
It pushes forward like a junkie
AS i blindly feed myself...
Full of candy, fat and sorrow
I think I need some help...

I do it 'bout 20 times a week-think about it all the time...
I fixate on the calorie-I wish that I felt fine...
But compulsive feeding is the cause
I have pains in my neck-but the way to undo all the feeding could add to that effect...
I kneel in silent homage upon closed bathroom doors, a gagging prayer rips through me as I shiver on the floor...
I don't, I can't , I feel the weight trickle thru me just like rain
The thought that I am ugly
Fat-Cause of guilt, and hurt and shame
It brings on headaches, aches and pains,
I spend my days logging food and working out but never feel it pays...
I hope for friendship, don't go out
Can't remember my last date
I do spend time within myself... I patiently will wait...

Sugar is my enemy-a cold and fickle friend
I need will power, strength and focus to make this bullshit end...
I'll create a mantra for soul and body bind
Live till another day with this hungry soul of mine...

I wish for freedom, wish for love
I need to make someone aware...
I suffer daily, hurt myself
...in my silent prayer

©2002 Anonymous. Reprinted with Permission.

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