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Poetry :: Articles :: Caron
In Their Words

All poems that appear have been submitted and reprinted with the permission of the authors. Copyrights are retained by the original authors and you must contact them for permission to reprint. If you have a poem you'd like to submit yourself please send it to POETRY@something-fishy.com

Dying Without A Choice
by: Jessica Biggs

Feel my body dying, controlled by this disease,
dying without a choice, someone help me please.
Looking at my body, blind to what is real,
others only see, never feel the way I feel.
Lying to myself, visions of untruth,
nightmares fill my night, repeating visions of my youth.
Men stole my innocents, changed the way I live,
love wasn't what they took, just something that I give.
Told that I was fat, saw the word they said,
never saw before, what I now see in my head.
One word changed my life, never be the same,
trapped in my own body, deadly victims game.
Staying alive for those I love, living life untrue,
never seeing me, only loving you.
No one there to hold me, every night I fear my last,
nothing can erase, dilusions suffered in the past.
Hope all but gone, recovery I fear,
who am I without, why am I even here?
Praying things will change, someone seeing me,
knowing I'm not eating, believing what they see.
Knowing I need help, standing by my side,
holding my weak hand, recovering what I hide.
Not my time to go, dying not my choice,
life I haven't lived, death silencing my voice.
Thought one day I might win, now my thinking wrong,
fighting death to live, takes me and someone strong.

©2002 Jessica Biggs. Reprinted with Permission.

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