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I sit and wonder what this life has given me.
How many moments have been moments of sadness,
and how many of happiness that I have shared?
I loose myself in this confusing place,
where reality becomes perplexed within,
and I look for an answer out there somewhere,
but it seems that I don�t find them where I should.
Looking back to all that mattered in the past,
I wonder where it all seemed to have gone wrong,
where a love that was strong suddenly still became,
where a world that was so fun became a bore.
A new world grew there that somehow seemed so perfect,
where I had all the power I�d never known,
where what I thought was such strength was simply weakness.
And here I battle against that perfect world.
Unrealistic goals, no love, no joy, just pain.
Anxiety�s replaced once peaceful laughter,
obsessiveness took over simple thoughts,
hopes and dreams faded in the darkness,
and the knowledge of feeling began fading away.
So here I sit, another day of battle,
wondering when it will all begin to fade,
because I can�t fight this way forever,
and I don�t want to fight another day.
Small steps of moving forward I know I�ve seen,
but yet somehow it seems they�re not enough.
Holding on to a crutch that one day served me,
that made the pain so bearable back then,
I go on towards the light I still see shinning,
I go on towards the place I know I�ll be.
There�s still love in the arms of those who�ve cared,
there�s still hope in their I eyes that I may win,
since they know that the strength I hold within me,
is the same strength I�ll use to become free.
I�ll let go of the thoughts that wear my mind down,
loose myself in the kisses of my love,
find my soul once again and give it meaning,
give myself all the joys this life can bring.
As I sit here wondering what this life�s given,
I realize it doesn�t really matter after all,
since it�s not what it gives that makes us stronger,
but what we choose to take or leave behind.
I will grow and will one day be remembered,
for having found the strength where weakness lay.
Reprinted with Permission.
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