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Poetry :: Articles :: Caron
In Their Words

All poems that appear have been submitted and reprinted with the permission of the authors. Copyrights are retained by the original authors and you must contact them for permission to reprint. If you have a poem you'd like to submit yourself please send it to POETRY@something-fishy.com

A Need to Feel
by: Anonymous

I wonder around in life
With nothing but a smile
A happy outward shell,
But I�m wondering all the while.

"What�s happening to my body? What�s happening to me?"
I stop to think about all of it.
It suddenly becomes a reality.

I�m living my life, the way I always have.
Friends, school, boys, all the normal stuff
But I feel empty inside, something�s missing
Something lacking inside is making it tough

Tough to feel, tough to cry, tough to feel anything true
It is overtaking my mind
Thinking of food is all I can do.

How can I eat less?
I can I lose weight?
I wish I could stop it,
But now it�s too late.

It makes me powerful, it makes me feel high
Each time the numbers on the scale go down,
I feel like I could fly.

Something I can control,
Something that can�t hurt me
Something that is just mine
A definite identity.

I�m scared, but not of this
I�m scared of hurt
I�m scared of sorrow
I�m scared of emotional pain.
And most of all, I�m scared of the weight I might gain.

I�ve been so hurt, and it�ll never happen again
Because now I have built this wall
Now no one can get in.

But I miss feelings. I feel empty inside.
Every time a feeling arises,
I run away and hide.

I hide behind the diets
And the thought of being thin
"If I can resist food" I think,
"Than I can win"

I don�t miss feeling hurt.
I miss feeling happy
My soul feels like it�s dead
And my stomach goes un-fed

I have so much to be happy about.
What�s wrong with me?
I can�t feel anything good
How can this be?

So many care for me, I know
I am so thankful for that
Although it doesn�t show.
But I love those who are my friend
They mean the world to me
I hope they�re there til the end.

But I can feel the joy.
I know I need help.
I just need to find something within myself.

©2001 Anonymous. Reprinted with Permission.

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