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SFWED Live Chat for Support
Chat Support

Below you will find the list of available chat transcripts. Some of the older chats have not been included yet, but will appear here in the future.


Fishing for Support Chat -- SEPTEMBER, 2002



[SFishy] we're about to get started everyone...
SFishy reminds everyone that this is a recovery-oriented chat...
[SFishy] you will all be promted to answer questions and share as we ask...
[SFishy] Tonight we are going to talk about positive thinking...
[SFishy] Affirmations
[SFishy] Affirmation are an important part of recovery, and often we don't do them enough because we claim it doesn't feel natural, or "it's hokey" or "corny"

[MrFishy] YES!!!!!

[SFishy] But like with anything else we wish to accomplish in our lives, recovery takes work, and it takes practice!
[SFishy] We cannot just start thinking more positively about ourselves, but have to retrain our minds to think that way.
[SFishy] Affirmations are a good way to turn negative thinking around.
[SFishy] Tony and I often put a lot of emphasis on doing positive self-talk.
[SFishy] Tonight we'd like to focus on not only the types of affirmations we can do, but how we might interpret the statements.
[SFishy] If we think more about WHY we are saying these things, they become easier to say...
[SFishy] and the more we say them to ourselves, the easier they become to believe!
[SFishy] Let's take some basic ones first...
[SFishy] After I state each affirmation, tell me why it's important for you to say it and learn to believe it -- tell me personally how believing it could positively effect your life...
[SFishy] 1. I deserve to speak up for myself. I deserve to ask for what I want. I CAN claim my own power!

[juliaf] because you will get farther in life in doing so
[songbird] I feel powerless
[Beit] I can pay attention to the moments I speak up
[songbird] guess I need to recleim it
[crystalina] I feel contoled by it at imes
[claradancer] because if I don't, people are going to walk all over me

[MrFishy] I feel it is important because *I* deserve to be heard.

[crystalina] controlled
[jilltoo] how do i say it if i don't believe it?
[Beit] It emphasises my worth
[crystalina] I realy believe in my head that if I do not purge...I will gain
[songbird] saying I deserve something is so difficult
[juliaf] jilltoo say it until you do believe it :)

[MrFishy] Jill...how will you belive it if you dont practice saying it??????

[songbird] course I wouldn't let anyone treat me as badly as I've been known to treat myself
[jilltoo] does that work?
Beit thinks: we can do it fishys, just believe as much as you can

[MrFishy] TRY...that is ALL that is asked of ANYONE in this room.

[jilltoo] ok
[keenan] because even if i try to deny my needs, they still exist...and i'll end up wasting more energy manipulating my environment to get what i need..
[crystalina] try...how exactly
[crystalina] to fight the urges?
[juliaf] not overnight but eventually something sinks in
[songbird] either that or I continue to sink

[MrFishy] there ya go keena!!!!

[Beit] by not believing but still listening crys

[MrFishy] I sometimes find it funny....
[MrFishy] that we hear how "we cant"
[MrFishy] say something nice to ourselves...
[MrFishy] yet it becomes SOOOOOO easy to berate ourselves....
[MrFishy] and beat up on ourselves....
[MrFishy] and remeber...
[MrFishy] the hate didnt come overnihgt....
[MrFishy] and neither will healing....
[MrFishy] but give yourselves a chance to hear the words....
[MrFishy] say the words....
[MrFishy] healing takes time and it has to start somewhere....
[MrFishy] cant is NO WHERE.

[SFishy] if someone said "just feel good about yourself" you're answer would be "get real"
[SFishy] which is easier? Just DOING IT, or SAYING IT so you can learn how?
[SFishy] (retorical question)
[SFishy] onto the next one...
[SFishy] After I state each affirmation, tell me why it's important for you to say it and learn to believe it -- tell me personally how believing it could positively effect your life...
[SFishy] 2. I am allowed to be free in this moment. Today's thoughts create my future.

[songbird] yikes, makes me want to change my thoughts
[keenan] I AM ALLOWED TO BE FREE BECAUSE I AM ENDING AN UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIP RIGHT NOW
[songbird] not exactly a future I want
[Beit] so I don't pay attention to the past and what I think are my innate qualities
[jilltoo] i guess i wouldn't feel i had to live up to anyone else's expectations
[keenan] sorry, didn' mean to yell
[rainbow_pride] b/c being future minded and past minded doesn't allow for any happiness that being present minded can bring
[juliaf] believing it would allow me to be free of what i think others think i should be like and i will start living life for me and live a real life not a screwed up one
[daisyL] becouse i dont see myself as having a future. it gives me a bit of the idea that i can create one for myself
[happyfish] maybe I wouldn't feel so much like the victim of circumstances...?

[MrFishy] keep um comming!

[keenan] freedom has so little structure so it' s scary
[manifold] if i could forget i might be free
[Mule] Free to be me, a great person!
[hummingbirdy] if i thought about creating a future, i could actually start working on one i want
[happyfish] but there ARE a lot of circumstances in my llife that I cannot change, so how will "thinking" I'm free, make me free???
[jilltoo] exactly
[manifold] freedom is alot of hard work

[SFishy] circumstances just ARE... how you deal with them you have control over
[SFishy] great answers all...
[SFishy] the next one...
[SFishy] After I state each affirmation, tell me why it's important for you to say it and learn to believe it -- tell me personally how believing it could positively effect your life...

[MrFishy] AWESOME shares!

[SFishy] 3. I allow myself to be open to a positive new direction in life.

[happyfish] too scary
[daisyL] becouse i dont and untill i can learn t be open i am going to stay stuck:(
[Beit] Know I'm willing to change, I'm a good person for it
[manifold] too scary, too much to allow anything
[juliaf] being closed off from the world and scared to try new things denies you of what life has to off. Putting aside the negatives and focusing on the positives helps you learn to approach situations with a clearer frame of mind
[rainbow_pride] i started by allowing myself to do a very tiny thing then another and another
[Beit] Feel good without trying to plan out detail
[jilltoo] being open to postive changes isn't as scary as feeling i have to changeaffirmations scare me, don't know why
[hummingbirdy] if i believed that i could create a positve new life

[SFishy] you can start believing it by practicing saying it :)

[MrFishy] Good answers!

[SFishy] good answers...
[SFishy] I know these are hard!
[SFishy] But the goal here is to make you think about changing your negative thinking to positive...
[SFishy] when we work on our self-dialogue, we can go really far!
[SFishy] the next one...
[SFishy] 4. As I go about my daily life, I allow myself to listen. I allow myself to use my voice. I am entitled to hear and be heard.

[Beit] I can learn who I am and that there are things I want, I won't have to depend on others
[Mule] Say what is really on my mind, not keeping it insdie and then turning to food to cope
[jilltoo] i guess i would feel i have something worthwhile to say, that what i say or feel matters.
[Beit] Get used to the possibility that I'm not right
[daisyL] ugh so hard/i can learn by practicing to be more honest with myself and others no matter what the outcome
[juliaf] allowing myself to listen and not think that i know it all has taught me a lot and moved me closer to recovery. Being heard is important for me because i like everyone else deserve to be heard and being able to communicate with others lets you define boundries
[manifold] my voice has been stolen. i want it back but silence is the only way i know how to communicate without hurting anyone. I would like to have a voice that is kind and can be heard
[rainbow_pride] i kept telling mnyself that ppl can't read my mind, that helped me to open my mouth... it's still hard sometimes but with lots of practice, it became easier to me and even second nature
[jilltoo] i still feel like noone wants to hear me though
[Mule] me too
[happyfish] I want to hear you, jilltoo
[manifold] i have no one left to hear me
[juliaf] that is you placing bias on them though, ie We all want to hear you
[happyfish] you have all of us, manifold

[SFishy] great answers!
[SFishy] I like to hear when you can affirm for yourselves that you have the RIGHT to use your voice :)
[SFishy] again... I know it's difficult!
[SFishy] but this is something we can ALL practice at
[SFishy] Affirmations, and learning to think more positively about ourselves creates personal power. This is the truest sense of having control over our lives.
[SFishy] There are always things that happen around us, much of which we DON'T have control over, but we CAN control how we choose to react, how we choose to interact, how we choose to dictate the kind of impact a situation will have on us, and where it leads us.
[SFishy] Here is the next set of affirmations...
[SFishy] After I state each one, tell me how they make your personally feel, and what kind of power saying each one can give you.
[SFishy] 1. This is a brand new day! I stay in the now and focus on THIS moment.

[Beit] the day coming is a good thing, something good will happen
[Beit] makes me feel relaxed
[Beit] less vehement : )
[Mule] I will create my day, taking in the highs and lows
[jilltoo] i dont have to let past yukkiness control how i react today
[juliaf] it makes me feel optomistic because it reminds me that what is in the past is over and can't be changed. It gives me the power to believe that there is still hope that life can get better each and every day =)
[claradancer] that anything that's happened before this day no longer affects how today will go
[hummingbirdy] it makes the past not matter so much
[manifold] scares me that i have to face another day, not knowing what to do or what will happen
[Mule] to live in the moment
[rainbow_pride] iit helps me to not be so anxious about everything that "may" happen and such, I guess it is kind of calming and assuring
[Beit] remind me I'm alive, which makes me feel like I'm going somewhere
[jilltoo] i helps to stop trying to control every situation

[SFishy] great answers everyone!
[SFishy] After I state each one, tell me how they make your personally feel, and what kind of power saying each one can give you.
[SFishy] 2. The past is over and done. It has no power over me. I am in charge and will take my power back!

[Mule] Why do I keep letting the past into my today and tomorrow. I need to live in the moment!
[rainbow_pride] that sounds wonderful but, for now, I am trapped in what happened to me back then and it affects everything, I hate it, I wish I could say this but I can't, not now :(
[Beit] it gives me the power to not give up, it's not too late, I don't need to feel bitter or regretful
CMRHR thinks: that's a hard one
[Beit] I can shine anyway
[juliaf] i should not be embarased of all of the mess i made of my life up until now, what i need to focus on is changing what i am doing one day at a time, and stop figuring out how i can "fix" the past.
[manifold] i wish i could believe the past is over that would give me relief but the past haunts me and i can't let go
[missinky] Well, I feel like I tell myself this all the time but I just can't seem to get the power back.
[daisyL] it makes me feel confused i want to think i can take my power back. just saying that feels kinda phony to me sorry so neg
[jilltoo] that the people who hurt me in the past no longer have power to hurt me.
[claradancer] this one aggravates me, if it were that easy, then this wouldn't be so difficult, I would just say it happened, it's over and done with, and move on
[jilltoo] but then it should follow that i dont hurt myself anymore either.
[Beit] I have the power to stop comparing myself with others
[Mule] why keep hurting ourselves now, from horrible things in the past we can move on with LOTS of work

[SFishy] it's not about IGNORING the past... it's about allowing yourself to HEAL

[Beit] I'm a fighter, and loveable, and don't need to feel ashamed
[daisyL] how i am not getting this part i dont know how to allow myself to heal
[manifold] is healing really possible anyway?
[juliaf] but moving on from the past is not the same as ignoring it is it?

[SFishy] start by giving yourself permission to heal

[happyfish] I think I'm having trouble trusting that if I open myself up again, I won't just get smashed to smitherines again...
* Beit gives daisy a hug with healing power

[SFishy] moving on is NOT the same as ignoring julia... moving on mean you have allowed yourself to heal

[jilltoo] me too happyfish

[SFishy] to heal enough that the past no long dictates everything you do

[juliaf] gotcha ;)
[manifold] you need to trust to heal and if you can't trust someone how do you find the way to heal?
[jilltoo] moving on requires trust
[daisyL] i cant even imagine healing or opening myself to being healed

[SFishy] After I state each affirmation, tell me how they make your personally feel, and what kind of power saying each one can give you.

[MrFishy] good shares !

[SFishy] 3. I am deeply loved by others. Acceptance is all around me. My own self love can protect me.

[Beit] I feel happy, more at peace like the moment has more meaning
* melisa thinks: ouch hardest one yet so far
[Mule] That one is tough! It's easier to love other people, how the heck do you love yourself
[juliaf] I am not sure i can say i am deeply loved by others, but i am sure there are others who love me in someway. I know now that i must love myself before i can reciprocate love to others anc accept thier love
* CMRHR cries at this question
[manifold] i don;'t feel loved at all. The ed isolates me even further and make me hate myself even more. I don't know what self love is. I don't believe there is a self to love
[rainbow_pride] i'm working so hard on all this but haven't moved an inch on this one, it seems an impossibility, maybe I'm too old (sorry)
* Beit hands CMRHR a tissue and a gives her a hug
[claradancer] this one makes me feel sad
[hummingbirdy] me too
[daisyL] to big to even think about. to overwhelming
[jilltoo] sad and scared
* CMRHR says Thank You and gives Beit a hug back
[missinky] I know that I have a lot of people in my life that love me as much as I love them. I truely love my self , I'm just struggling with myself it seems like
[jilltoo] i think i'm just way too unlovable

[SFishy] if you hate yourself, and don't allow yourself even the CHANCE to try self-love, you will never have your eyes open to the love others have for you -- you'll just never believe anyone loves you

[juliaf] logically i know there are people who love me, but it takes time, just like affirmations to learn how to accept and believe that
[claradancer] but when I love myself, then other people stop loving me
[claradancer] like I'm doing something wrong if I don't always put them first
[manifold] how can i be so selfish as to love myself?

[MrFishy] its sorta like keeping your eyes closed and expect to be able to describe the sun to someone.

[jilltoo] i would like to feel protected my my own love; i like that idea
[daisyL] i know that i have people in my life that care and love me but in my head it is always like how can they i am so bad it be true
[juliaf] great analogy mr fishy =P

[SFishy] loving yourself isn't selfish

[Mule] I guess I love myself enough to try and get rid of this e/d, we all here tonight

[SFishy] well said Mule ;)

* CMRHR thinks: Mule is smart =)

[Mule] haha

[MrFishy] yes mule....its there in EVERYONE......its just at times it feels safer to keep it hidden deeper...when in reality...its what hurts the most.

[manifold] i believe i should love other people and put my effort into that, loving me doesn't seem important
[Beit] hmmmm , I don't usually think about trying to give myself loving acts

[SFishy] loving others is important manifold... but you can't even enjoy it unless you have self-love too

[MrFishy] manifold...remeber tho....how can you give love when you really dont know SELF love?

[andy] i just got here
[andy] what are we talking about???
[andy] please

[SFishy] tonights topic is working on affirmations andy

[MrFishy] Good answers all!

[SFishy] I know that was a hard one everyone!!
[SFishy] everyone here is at different places in their recovery
[SFishy] and some of you just can't imagine feeling self-love
[SFishy] but that is a HUGE part of the goal in working towards recovery
[SFishy] Let's face it... it's unrealistic to think we can walk around life happy-go-lucky all the time.
[SFishy] That is not the point of recovery, nor is it the point of affirmations.
[SFishy] What is important is that recovery is about learning self-care through self-love.
[SFishy] Learning to cope with emotions in a more healthy and positive way, even when emotions are painful.
[SFishy] We can recognize pain, anger, and fear -- we can validate our emotions and cope with them without hurting ourselves...
[SFishy] when we love ourselves, we don't want to hurt ourselves further by sinking into an ED!
[SFishy] Affirmations are not about putting feelings aside...
[SFishy] they are about being able to look at life overall as "the glass is half full" as opposed to "the glass is always empty"
[SFishy] For the next set of Affirmation, tell me how they make you feel, and how they could help you learn to cope with your own difficult times...
[SFishy] 1. Each moment of sadness has its own experiences and lessons. My feelings are important. I choose to feel and heal from the moments of sadness placed before me.

[Beit] I'm not trapped in the same old sadness
[Beit] It's not forever
* Beit thinks: a penny for your thoughts guys

[MrFishy] good point beit.
* MrFishy tinks everyones stumped?????

[claradancer] sometimes I need to allow myself to sit with my moment of sadness and process it, not just run and hide from it
[rainbow_pride] i had to start allowing myself to feel b4 I could get abstince, but it's still hard sometimes, inch by inch
[daisyL] even when i feel sad and dead inside i m still living and experiencing. i can make a decision to learn from the sadness and not get stuck in it
[rainbow_pride] but i'm doing it successfully :)
[hummingbirdy] maybe it is ok to cry when something hurts, but then i can move on?
[Mule] I HATE feeling sad, this seems to be when I turn to my ED.
[jilltoo] this one is confusing..... i think part of the function of my ed is to numb feelings of sadness
[juliaf] there is a reason in life for everything, the good and the bad, knowing this has helped me stop blaming myself for things that have no explaination. starving for years has not fixed anything, but learning to talk about it has helped put some of it behind me
[Mule] me too jilltoo
[manifold] sadness makes me want to be numb and i retreat to my ed behaviour
[rainbow_pride] agrees with julief
[Mule] We've learned our way to cope, and to feel sad is SO SCARY

[MrFishy] lets face it ...sadness sux....but trying to numb sadness only leads to more sadness...when in reality...sadness ends.

[jilltoo] i guess i could learn something from sad experiences
[Beit] from your lips to god's ear mr. fishy
[missinky] I have learned a lot about myself through my saddness and the way I deal with my emotions.
[manifold] some sadness feels like it never ends
[happyfish] why does it feel like happiness ends, but sadness is always sort of lurking underneath everything?

[MrFishy] manifold...yet....it does end......we ALL have the baility to heal from sadness.

[Beit] how long sadness will last scares me and depresses me

[SFishy] happyfish... that is perception... I used believe that
[SFishy] but sadness really doesn't lurk under everything

[Mule] what does?
[daisyL] sometimes it seems endless
[melisa] i'm still trying to learn to feel any feelings or know what they are even maybe when i can start believing my feelings are important i can start talking about them
[juliaf] what you want to lurk lurks and how you view the world determines what lurks

[SFishy] what does, if you allow it, is a sense of contentment

[Beit] it's hard knowing to overcome sadness I must do something
[jilltoo] really?
[Mule] contentment would be really nice, I want it

[MrFishy] melisa...then affirmations can be a big help for you....helpps you to begin to belive that you ARE worth something...and your words are worth listening to.

[claradancer] I just don't like when I feel sad for no apparent reason
[Beit] hmmmmmm contentment

[SFishy] jilltoo -- I have lived my whole life with clinical depression and I can honestly tell you it's been a long time since I felt sad for more than an hour or so

[jilltoo] is delaying feeling the experience, prolonging it? And delaying feeling content?
* juliaf julia does the happy dance for sfishy =P
[happyfish] SFishy, I want whatever drugs you're on!!
[jilltoo] that's hopeful sfishy

[SFishy] LOL happyfish -- just high on myself :P~
[SFishy] delaying things like anger, sadness, fear -- denying them (or numbing them out) makes the healing process longer and harder

[manifold] being happy just to make everyone else happy sucks, at least being sad feels real to me

[SFishy] 1. Each moment of sadness has its own experiences and lessons. My feelings are important. I choose to feel and heal from the moments of sadness placed before me.
[SFishy] That's why THAT affirmation is so important ;)

[MrFishy] think about how hard it becomes just delaying doing the laundry...much less your emotions ;)
[jilltoo] so numbing it with my ed is really making it worse?

[SFishy] I'm not telling you to DO IT -- I'm telling you to say it so you can give yourself permission to learn how
[SFishy] jilltoo: yes... if you delay it, you deny it, and it takes longer to heal from.

[Mule] will just saying it really help?
[juliaf] never know if you don't try mule ;)
[Mule] yea, sounds good!

[SFishy] That's the goal of affirmations... you say them enough and you DO start to believe them... you DO start to give yourself permission to feel they are true
[SFishy] Lets move on to the next one...
[SFishy] And I want to remind everyone...
[SFishy] these are AFFIRMATIONS we are talking about tonight -- saying positive, empowering things to ourselves
[SFishy] because when we do that, when we KEEP working at feeling something positive, if we practice it...
[SFishy] you DO start to believe it and give yourself the permissions you need to...
[SFishy] the next one...
[SFishy] tell me how it make you feel, AND HOW IT COULD HELP YOU LEARN TO COPE with your own difficult times...
[SFishy] 2. I am mentally equipped to handle any situation placed in front of me. I am emotionally equipped to take care of ME.

[Beit] I don't have to hide from myself
[Beit] pretending I can't take action
[daisyL] sad but it takes away some of the negative/hopelessness i feel about myself and my mental health
[Mule] Cry, laugh, breath, yell, let it out physically, so we don't cope with it by using our ed
[hummingbirdy] i am strong enough to get better and stay that way
[rainbow_pride] helps my anxiety and keeps me from panicking when things get tough or I am tempted to blow it
[Beit] confident
[Mule] STRONGI
[jilltoo] thats sorta what i do anyway. take care of myself because i cant count on anyone else
[rainbow_pride] i think I'm going to put that on an index card and attach it to the dash in my car :)
[juliaf] that one makes me nervous. It gives me power and readies me for the next bump in the road that will inevitably come in life
[Beit] this would be a good one to tell myself how I am equiped, give myself some credit
[manifold] it seems like some far distance dream that i am trying to obtain. It enforces that i am not mentally or emotionally equiped but there may be a time when i am
* Beit thinks: am enjoying this chat
[Beit] whoops, I am
[Mule] capable, confront things no more running away because that is easier
[missinky] makes me feel like I have the ability to handle the things that are placed on me
[juliaf] it makes me nervous because it is probably one of the hardest things for me to do. To believe that i have the power and strenght to fight back even when things get horrid, when it seems so much easier to throw the towle in

* SFishy gives julia homework to keep practicing this one ;)

[SFishy] GREAT answers eveyrone!

[MrFishy] AWESOME!

[SFishy] next one...
[SFishy] tell me how it make you feel, AND HOW IT COULD HELP YOU LEARN TO COPE with your own difficult times...
[SFishy] 3. I am allowed to forgive myself. I can leave behind feelings of not being good enough. I am free to loving myself.
[SFishy] I am free to love myself.

[Mule] I am good enough damn it
[Beit] I FEEl atpeace
[Beit] I can give myself permission
[claradancer] lol melisa
[juliaf] i am free to loving myself because i have the right to be loved. knowing this boast self-esteem and opens new doors in life
[rainbow_pride] that it's okay not to have a perfect recovery but to just stay recovery minded and lkeep on trucking forward
[jilltoo] how can i ever forgive myself?
* manifold thinks: too hard
[happyfish] I know what you mean, jilltoo...

[SFishy] They are words... NEVER to hard to just say ;)

[Beit] I don't have to keep making evidence against myself
* claradancer thinks: never? I'm not so sure about that
[jilltoo] i'll say the words, i'll try

[SFishy] that's all we ask Jilltoo

[juliaf] not feeling good enough will not get you anywhere in life and self hurt won't either, so the soon you believe you are worth something the sooner the real work will begin =)
[Beit] (((((daisy)))))

[SFishy] well said Julia!

[rainbow_pride] i can't forgive myself overall but I can forgive myself a tiny bit at a time, that's a beginning

[MrFishy] BINGO!

[SFishy] sure is rainbow :) and a great one!

* manifold thinks: so hard it makes me want to cry
[juliaf] jilltoo- you told yourself in the past soo many times you are not worth anything that you now believe it so the same is true for the opposite
[rainbow_pride] :) oooh feels good :)
[daisyL] (((((manifold)))))

[MrFishy] EVERYONE learns how to walk one....step....at....a...time.......if we didnt...we would ALL be crawling still.

[jilltoo] gonna stick this affirmation on my computor at work

[SFishy] great answers everyone!
[SFishy] Last, but not least, recovery is often about taking risks. We must try new things, something things we've never learned how to do before (learning to love yourself can be a scary process if you've never learned how!)
[SFishy] In this whole process of finding out who we are, learning to cope with things and exploring our own self-love, there are risks we must take --
[SFishy] sometimes to be vulnerable (like learning to use your voice with others) -- sometimes to be trusting (that things can be okay, or that it won't be "the end of the world")
[SFishy] Thinking about risks... with the next set of Affirmations tell me how they can be reassuring for you, and why it's important to take risks. If you want, even share some risks you NEED to be willing to take...
[SFishy] 1. I know that new experiences are ahead that will empower me. I greet the new with open arms.

[CMRHR] :thinks: these are hard questions...I feel like a loser for not being able to answer any...
[Quarry] Honestly I'm afraid of taking risks

[MrFishy] cmr...there ARE no losers in these chats ;)

[SFishy] you don't HAVE to answer any of them CMRHR -- just think about them, and think about the affirmations you can be saying to yourself

* claradancer thinks: Christina is not a loser, these are hard

* MrFishy looks around and sees none!

[SFishy] Thinking about risks... with the next set of Affirmations tell me how they can be reassuring for you, and why it's important to take risks. If you want, even share some risks you NEED to be willing to take...
[SFishy] 1. I know that new experiences are ahead that will empower me. I greet the new with open arms.

[manifold] new experiences feel like old ones repeating themselves, they make me feel scared
* happyfish thinks: that's 'cuz I'm hiding behind the brave fishy's
[juliaf] becase trying new things can be exciting (even though scary) and you never know what you are missing if you don't try.
[Quarry] I need to learn to open my arms
[melisa] being here is a new experience
[Beit] I will know that I'm getting immediate benefit
[rainbow_pride] this speaks to me of "hope" and hope is what keeps me facing forward.
[jilltoo] i need to learn to be open

[SFishy] yes melisa... and even though it may have been hard, the world didn't come to and end :)

[Mule] I justasked for a raise, and got it. If i didn't take that risk of speaking up I would not havre the extra cash,
[Beit] Action is worth taking
[juliaf] Everyone has to fail to rise to the top and with support you learn that it is ok to fail because someone wil be there to help you back up if you need it
[Mule] you never know unless you try
[Quarry] alright, risk.....here I come!!!!

* MrFishy says....the ONLY failure in life is not trying something.

[manifold] if i don't speak up, if i don't truly say what i mean and take a risk i will never know who i really am
* happyfish thinks: but in the greater scheme of things, what difference does it really make??

[MrFishy] you ALWAYS gain SOMETHING from trying and not succeding...even if it is just the experience to try again ;)

[Quarry] Fish must be the smartest creatures in the SEA :)
[Mule] you will never grow, or least as much as you imagine

[SFishy] GOOD answers!
[SFishy] the next...
[SFishy] tell me how this affirmation can be reassuring for you, and why it's important to take risks. If you want, even share some risks you NEED to be willing to take...
[SFishy] 2. I am allowed to have healthy and trusting relationships. When I create harmony in my mind and heart I can create harmony with my friends and loved-ones.

[Beit] IT's okay to walk away from relationships
[Quarry] I agree. It all starts within us.
[jilltoo] i don't have to accept abusive realtionships
[Mule] My relationships will be more fun! I love my friends and new husband so much! I nned to take the risk of aying I love me
[Mule] which was wierd to even type
[Beit] I don't have to be a certain way lets me have a healthy relationship for me becasue I can be at peace, being true to myself is healthy and tops]
[juliaf] it is reassuring because i have experienced life without relationships and with manipulating relationships and gained nothing in return from either, except misery. Having others to share your great experiencees with is much better than having a relationship based on them worrying about you
[rainbow_pride] the more harmonious I become with myself, the less painful rejections are, the better I am able to cope with real ppl in real situations
[jilltoo] i need to try to connect more with healthy, honest people
[Mule] me too

[MrFishy] jill...you DESERVE to!!!!!!!!!!

[manifold] i don't trust anyone, it keeps me safe and safe is what i need at the moment. Maybe when i can find harmony in myself i will be able to have trusting and healthy relationships
[jilltoo] thanks :-)
[Beit] it reminds me my faults don't prevent having a healthy relationship
[Mule] can't you try a little of both manifold
[Mule] just a little
[melisa] i really need to start risking trusting therapy person with inside and believe she is safe

[MrFishy] manifold....everyone has the ability to be safe AND trusting...boundaries help with that.

[Beit] I deserve to expect stuff from others
[rainbow_pride] i'm working on both manifold and find that in trust ing relationships I am finding peace within myself, even though the trust isn't total, it's a beginngn
[rainbow_pride] beginning
[Mule] baby steps

[SFishy] AWESOME everyone!

[SFishy] the last one...
[SFishy] 3. I trust that life can be fantastic! I have the right to be healthy, happy and fulfilled.

[Mule] oh yea baby (said like austin powers)
[Quarry] Trust really is involved in that one
[Mule] so true, this one i am pasting to the fridge
[jilltoo] i don't have to be sick....i can get better
[Beit] I can have hope, I DOn't have to feel like it's never enough
[jilltoo] oh, i know!!! I have the right to ask for help. And be helped. And reccover
[manifold] i believe everyones life here can be fantasic and they have the right to be happy, healthy and fulfilled. I just don't think it applies to me
[Beit] that life is fantastic over some hump ahead of me
[claradancer] this one makes me want to cry
[Quarry] Life is what I make of it
[happyfish] me too
[juliaf] i have the right because beign happy and fulfilled ffeels so much better than being starving and miserable.
[CMRHR] me too =(
[jilltoo] awww clara
[rainbow_pride] yes, I have experienced this, am experiencing this. this is possible and I had an ED for 17 yrs, just keep on hanging on... hope...
[juliaf] much better than keeping all my feelings in and trying to live for others

[MrFishy] manifold...im SURE you dont have a big S on your shirt and are able to leap tall building in a single bound ....right? :)

[Mule] Life is too good to waste in my toliet
[Beit] I don't hav eto feel insuffiecent compared to others
[manifold] what does that mean Mr Fishy?
[Beit] It reminds me of my needs

[MrFishy] that you desrve the same as everyone else does manifold.

[Quarry] People are missing out if I don't share myself with others
[Mule] you do!!!
[manifold] sorry i don't believe that
[jilltoo] i GET this one. I've been resisting help from my therapist, my Dr. But, i have the right to let them help me
[Beit] I don't have to do any reasoning, just feel nourished

[MrFishy] well...hopefully tonight was your first step at starting to believe that manifold.

[melisa] for me the first step in this one is trying to start thinking about me having rights

[MrFishy] GOOD answers!

[SFishy] We have talked a lot about affirmations and their importance tonight...
[SFishy] and I hope you will all think about how you've answered the questions, and how you can use these, and your own affirmations to move forward in recovery...
[SFishy] to keep practicing your own self-love!
[SFishy] We have a lot of great affirmation books on Something Fishy if you need motivation or direction...
[SFishy] just go to: www.something-fishy.org/reach/books.php (www.something-fishy.org -- the main page -- click on "Recovery-Reach Out" and then "Helpful Books")
[SFishy] I'm going to end with one last affirmation... Repeat it, and then come up with your own!
[SFishy] I CLAIM MY OWN POWER, AND WITH SELF-LOVE, CREATE MY OWN REALITY!

[Beit] I claim my own power and with self love create my own reality
[Beit] I am doing a good job

[SFishy] I claim my own power, and with self-love, create my own reality!

[juliaf] I claim my own power and with self love my own reality =) I am moving towards living the life i deserve to live..one that includes healing and actually living

* MrFishy wants everyone to SCREAM IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[happyfish] feeling very anxious & unsettled
[jilltoo] i claim my own power
[manifold] if i dare to believe in the uniqueness of me and the love others have of me, i can use this power to fight what seems overwhelming
[Mule] I am in charge of making those dreams come true, they aren''t going to come to me. I CAN DO IT
[rainbow_pride] I am a unique a special human being worthy of the space I take!

[MrFishy] way 2 go manifold!

[manifold] thanks
[juliaf] have a good night everyone and keep saying those affirmations =)
[Mule] THANK YOU SO MUCH!
[hummingbirdy] thanks
[Beit] we rock!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[CMRHR] Thanks Amy and Tony =)
[jilltoo] i hope this works
[Beit] namaste all
[jilltoo] thanks everyone
[Beit] Thanks Big Fishys
[jilltoo] peace

[MrFishy] YOU ALL ARE AWESOME!!!!!!!!

* CMRHR gives hugs to all
[Beit] back at you CMRHR

[MrFishy] YOU ALL ARE DESERVING!!!

[Beit] night all

[MrFishy] YOU ALL ARE SPECIAL!!!!!!!!!!
[Beit] I am beautiful, I can do this

[SFishy] Thank you all for coming tonight -- and be sure to THANK YOURSELVES for coming tonight!

* CMRHR waves Goodnight ((((((((((((( Room ))))))))))))))
[jilltoo] this week i will claim my own power

[MrFishy] YES!!!!!

[SFishy] Our follow-up game on the bulletin boards will be posted in the next day or two, so be sure to check it out and play along!

[MrFishy] Remember...one step at a time.....second by second!

* rainbow_pride is grateful for this chat!

[MrFishy] Be good to yourselves...and nitters!!!

[melisa] this week i will think about what i heard here tonite
[melisa] nite
[windy] I claim my own power and with self love create my own living reality

[SFishy] And we look forward to seeing you next month... we'll have something special in store for Halloweeny
[SFishy] have a great night all...
[SFishy] and TAKE CARE OF YOU!!!!



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