Below you will find the list of available chat transcripts. Some of the older chats have not been included yet, but will appear here in the future.
Fishing for Support Chat -- MARCH, 2002
[SFishy] so lets get started!
[MrFishy] WELCOME ALL!!!!!
[SFishy] I want to first remind everyone that this is the FISHING FOR SUPPORT chat... recovery oriented
* MrFishy say...thinkin caps on now!
[SFishy] follow our lead and we will let you know when to chime in :)
[MrFishy] comfy sox is a neccesity
[SFishy] I will let MrFishy introduce our topic for tonight
[MrFishy] now...i know ALOT of people have been asking about the topic....
[MrFishy] and i feel that this topic is VERY appropriate...
[MrFishy] since the time is just around the corner.....
[MrFishy] the topic tonight is....
* MrFishy hears the low WHAT comming from the room
[MrFishy] now wait....
[MrFishy] hold on a sec....
[MrFishy] did anyone know that a baseballplayer can not achieve his goal seven out of ten times and still be considered an allstar?
[MrFishy] we can take that analogy into the way we take steps in recovery
[SFishy] think about the guy up at bat...
[SFishy] he doesn't have to hit a home run each time to be a good player
[SFishy] getting to 1st base is just as important a part of the game
[SFishy] and the players themselves...
[SFishy] they need each other, and they need their coaches, their managers, to be a good ball player
[SFishy] so this is an analogy that works well for recovery ;)
[SFishy] Lets start off with the people you need in your life to help you move forward...
[SFishy] who are your coaches? your managers? your teammates?
[Eilis] ME foremost
[andy] i have no one to support me
[mattsdancer] my boyfriend
[Domingo] my friends
[Isabel_Knight] My friends
[Jik] my husband
[mattsdancer] my therapist
[s] my T
[andy] my kids
[Eilis] then my family friends and T
[Annabelle_Rose] my parents
[Annabelle_Rose] my t
[missingmyself] my husband & my doctor
[Rosalia] my dad and my twin sis, because they know about the ED and they help me
[Isabel_Knight] The fish bowl
[harshreality] my friends
[andy] my boyfriend
[rose_sherman] T, nutritioist, md, motivation
[Jik] people in general
[harshreality] my confidants
[Annabelle_Rose] my friends
[Jik] who listen and offer a hand
[Isabel_Knight] My surrogate mother figures.
[Jik] so we can help each other
[Domingo] my brain
[andy] THIS CHATROOM AND ALL THE PPL HERE
[septangel] Definitely friends
[Domingo] the bowl
[mattsdancer] the bowl they keep me focused
[andy] TONY AND AMY
[Rosalia] yeah, the bowl helps me a LOT too
[bri] friends. pets.
[Isabel_Knight] The families I've worked for.
[slick] T, patients, dietician
[Rosalia] andy is a suck up lol
[Jik] people who make it through very difficult times and stil shine
[newo] yes, pets
[rose_sherman] family especially my kids
[bri] therapist. doctor. family
[Domingo] my heart
[mattsdancer] i was wondering why i couldn't say anything...lol...i am slow sometimes
[andy] both MR AND MRS
[Isabel_Knight] Kids I've looked after.
[harshreality] online friends
[Jik] my grandson and his wide eyed look at life
[septangel] my crazy job
[Jik] especially when trying to play with his play bat and ball
[MrFishy] AWESOME ANSWERS!!!!
[SFishy] Great answers everyone!
[SFishy] it's important for each of us to have a treatment/support TEAM that helps us work on recovery... it's so difficult to walk it alone
[SFishy] and it's important to ask for help
[MrFishy] and a team can be anyone and everyone
[MrFishy] someone to lean on
[MrFishy] someone to hold your hand
[MrFishy] to listen to you
[MrFishy] to challenge you when necessary
[MrFishy] ANYONE who can help you on your path
[SFishy] now... lets look at each of the bases as steps... 1st, 2nd, 3rd and home...
[SFishy] We have to get to first base...
[SFishy] you're up at bat and that's the goal
[SFishy] first based symbolizes COPING STRATEGIES... GROUNDING METHODS...
[SFishy] and doing small things that remind you to take care of YOU...
[SFishy] so how do we get to first base?
[SFishy] What tools do you use? What "bat" do you pick up... what helmet do you wear?
[Eilis] I stop at the thought
[Kensington] see a therapist
[turtledz] REconize the problem
[newo] talk to friends
[Eilis] and rationalize it
[Rosalia] asking for help, or telling someone the secret??
[s] i just started therapy
[andy] I DONT KNOW
[Kensington] decide you've finally had enuf
[Isabel_Knight] Recognize that you have a problem and ask for help.
[Kensington] join the bowl
[rose_sherman] How do you get over ambivilance about even picking up the bat??
[newo] take a walk
[Isabel_Knight] Reach out to others around you. Let them support you.
[andy] im scared to ask for help at times
[Domingo] well..... journal, deep breathing, telling the stupid voice that it's wrong- or at least try to
[Kensington] tell your doctor
[zebra] telling secrets is a BIG one
[Jik] promise myself to not dwell on negatives only
[zebra] and just being honest
[zebra] with yourself
[Isabel_Knight] Listening to the part of you that WANTS to get better (opposed to the part tha doesn't)
[Eilis] then if I have a problem with that - I talk it out with someone who caN help me with it
[Jik] and then look for the positive
[Eilis] someone I trust
[missingmyself] gain the courage somehow to call a therapist
[Kensington] recognize that black & white thinking is detrimental
[slick] find things that make me feel safe
[Isabel_Knight] Learn to see the grays.
[harshreality] listen to that true voice
[harshreality] be open
[harshreality] and willing
[Isabel_Knight] Taking small steps and not being put off by setbacks.
[rose_sherman] being open to what the members of your team say and keeping the goal only to get to first
[septangel] listen to the coaches
[Kensington] don't focus on 2nd base & beyond
[Isabel_Knight] I like that rose
[Jik] not look to home before I get to 2nd base
[juliaf] start caring as to wether you should pick up the bat to get to first base
[Eilis] good point kensy
[missingmyself] very good point kensy
[Eilis] now is now - future worrying is a bad trance
[Domingo] oops i hit a foul ball
[poetballerina] yo yo
[andy] im scared to get up to bat
[Kensington] buy positive recovery books
[Isabel_Knight] Find activities you like and are good at to build up your confidence and self-esteem.
[missingmyself] i hear ya andy
[Jik] lol - don't worry about who's catching the ball just run like the dickens
[andy] scared i might strike out
[septangel] Do something you enjoy at least once a week
[Isabel_Knight] Accept that you have a problem.
[SFishy] excellent answers!
[MrFishy] AWESOME ANSWERS AGAIN!!!!!
[SFishy] and I'd like to address a few things :)
[SFishy] Remember, even the BIGGEST ball players in the league get nervous...
[SFishy] and they still get paid even when they strike out ;)
[MrFishy] butterflies galore!
[SFishy] striking out is part of learning how to play a better game
[SFishy] so you know how to avoid some of those "curves" next time
[MrFishy] hits AND misses are part of the game
[SFishy] so you can DEAL with that curve ball thrown at you!
[SFishy] So... we've all gotten to 1st base...
[MrFishy] going to "bat" and TRYINE is the important part
[SFishy] we're standing on first base... and we have to get to 2nd...
[SFishy] 2nd base symbolizes USING YOUR VOICE... ASKING TO BE LISTENED TO... GETTING YOUR EMOTIONS *OUT*...
[SFishy] what are you going to do to get to second base?
[Kensington] telling people close to you that you need help
[slick] trust that it is possible
[Eilis] sk for help
[Isabel_Knight] Share your TRUE feelings.
[andy] Scream every once in awhile
[newo] talk talk talk
[Isabel_Knight] Use a journal.
[Rosalia] go to a doctor, therapist, or friend and tell them th thruth
[rose_sherman] be open to new ideas
[andy] let it out and not suck it in
[Kensington] make sure you are honest with your therapist even when it hurts
[poetballerina] allow yourself not to be perfect?
[septangel] face fears
[Isabel_Knight] good answer rose.
[Jik] I just do it
[poetballerina] allow yourself to fail sometimes and get back up?
[andy] not swallow anger...cuz that festers and feeds your ED
[septangel] quit telling yourself you can't
[harshreality] ahh...suck it up and say things
[Domingo] ask for help again even though i thought i was over, and out of therapy, now im slipping back, so i think realising that i have to face fears
[Eilis] ask when i need it or if I am doing ok with my thought process then I can work my feelings
[harshreality] ask for HELP.
[juliaf] keep searching until yuo find someone who will listen and not judge you and degrade you
[newo] don't give up
[Jik] I don't let fear of the what if stand in my way anymore
[Jik] I respect myself
[rose_sherman] voice that you like your ED in a twisted way
[andy] can i just run away????????
[septangel] make goals and plans. Not excuses
[Isabel_Knight] Again, listen to the part of you that WANTS to get better (opposed to the part that doesn't)
[harshreality] giving up that stubborn useless anger that hold oyu back form ebing effective
[Jik] and my opinion
[Kensington] join a support group & be heard there
[harshreality] ahhhh...this is EXACTLY what I'm battling right now
[s] me too harsh
[Eilis] oh and keep my limits throughout the process - because this is a base where things can get sticky
[andy] can i renew my contract...re negotiate?????
[Isabel_Knight] Take all the opportunities you can - group therapy, art therapy, support groups, IP if you;re offered it.....
[Kensington] keep your eye on 2nd base, nothing further
[Jik] find someone to lend a non-judgemental ear
[septangel] change the thought process from I am victim to I am survivor
[harshreality] practice saying things
[harshreality] time after time
[rose_sherman] use the chat rooms
[s] cheer yourself on
[septangel] hang around healthy and positive people
[Isabel_Knight] Allow yourself to feel.
[Isabel_Knight] Feel real feelings.
[SFishy] GREAT Answers everyone!
[MrFishy] WOW....KILLER ANSWERS!!!!!
[SFishy] we've got a good team here MrFishy :)
[MrFishy] baseball...like life....is concentrating on one base at a time.....
[MrFishy] you cant "skip" over a base or your called out!
[MrFishy] in baseball the term is called "playing base to base"
[MrFishy] and you ALWAYS get a new at bat at each game or the next day!
[SFishy] so now we have to get to third...
[SFishy] and this is a little more difficult... the third basemen is a golden glove winner...
[SFishy] the shortstop just won't be stopped...
[SFishy] but we are DETERMINED to get to 3rd base!
[SFishy] 3rd base symbolizes... ENFORCING SAFE BOUNDARIES... KEEPING OURSELVES SAFE... FINDING WAYS TO HANDLE TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS...
[SFishy] so how are we going to get to 3rd base? How are we going to deal with the hurdles laid out before us?
[Isabel_Knight] Never be afraid to reach out for support.
[Rosalia] not sure??
[Jik] I remind myself that I've had hurdles before
[Eilis] this isnt a problem when we put ourselves first
[andy] what is a "toxic relationship"??????
[Jik] and that I'm a capable woman
[andy] cant we play softball instead?
[Kensington] realize that you're halfway home & it takes as much effort to back to starting over as it does to head for home
[rose_sherman] ed and safty are opposites
[Jik] who can think for herself
[Isabel_Knight] Believe in ourselves.
[newo] being strong
[SFishy] toxic relationship: relationship/friendship that is unhealthy
[Eilis] I remind myself of what it all really means, and that toxic doesnt help anyone
[Jik] and do for herself
[Domingo] im stuck on 2nd
[Eilis] and to be healthy and happy we need to take care of ourselves first - so I guess I let all the healthy messages...
[missingmyself] how do you deal with a "toxic relationship" when it's your mother?
[Isabel_Knight] Look after ourselves.... keep a careful watch on our own safety.
[s] i can't se past first
[Eilis] get thru my mind and TO my heart
[slick] remembering how much I want to win !!
[rose_sherman] My ed is the way I currently keep unsafe out of old habits
[Rosalia] I'm stuck on 1st still
[andy] i thought i was doing well...but that man on 3rd hates me
[newo] talk to your t
[septangel] if a person isn't good for you...they aren't good for you. Stay away from those that drag you down
[Jik] I put the brakes on if something doesn't feel right
[missingmyself] me too rosa
[juliaf] it is hard to get to third base when the toxic relationship is your parents and one that you can't escape
[Kensington] boundaries - getcha some!
* SFishy sends a signal to you on second base: WILL YOU BE AFRAID TO SAY "NO" when someone asks something of you that you really can't or shouldn't do?
[Isabel_Knight] REminds ourselves of how far we have come in getting to 1st and 2nd - we must be strong players to have got that far, righ?
[rose_sherman] I think they aren't going to renew my contract!!
[Jik] I don't loose respect for myself and if I'm not getting it from others then I terminate the conversation or even the relationship
[harshreality] I broke it up...I found new ones
[s] i am afraid to say no
[missingmyself] if it's my mom, SFishy, then "yes"
[Kensington] afraid at first but after practice, not so much
[harshreality] with people that'll support me for who I am, not who they want me to be
[Jik] I used to be before I learned that I have the right to say no
[Eilis] saying NO is important
[juliaf] i agree missingmyself
[Eilis] being honest too
[andy] ME too....scared that others will not like me if i say NO
[Kensington] saying no when you need to becomes a habit after awhile
[septangel] I limit my contact with my own dad because of the way I feel after talking to him
[slick] oh yeah, definately afraid - i don't think - okay rarely- i can do it
[Isabel_Knight] Believe in ourselves.... don't be influenced by superficial trends ....
[v-ball] it's hard for me to say no because i've been raised to be a 'pleaser'
[andy] love for things to be peaceful in my life
[missingmyself] i've said "no" to my mom....she won't back off....what do i do then?????
[Domingo] i am
[Kensington] surround yourself with positive people
[rose_sherman] If I could get to third i'd call it recovery
[Jik] and let go of any guilty feelings about taking care of me
[Isabel_Knight] Make decisions that are healthy for you.
[Isabel_Knight] Make full use of your support team.
[harshreality] find new guardians and people tha'tll love you
[septangel] do what's right. Not what's popular
[Isabel_Knight] Look after YOU
[Jik] acknowledge that I am an important person as well as everyone else
[andy] sanzo loves peace
[Domingo] i cant say no
[harshreality] find the postive and throw away the rest
[andy] i love peace
[andy] hate conflict
[juliaf] i get called the ungreatful, disprepecting brat when i say no or point out negative things
[Domingo] but i should work to be able to say it
[missingmyself] me too andy
* MrFishy gtes 5 dollars for everyone cant word btw ;)
[cindyf] recently separated from husband........too toxic
[Isabel_Knight] REmember your life is your life and only YOU can live it. YOU alone ive with the consequences of what you do.
[MrFishy] its used to be a nickel...inflation i guess!
[SFishy] julia: everyone is entitled to their opinion... but it is JUST an opinion... that doesn't mean you don't have the right to say NO
[s] i learned early on that "no" means little
[septangel] I'm divorced. My ex was deadly too
[andy] what is that Mr FISH?
[Kensington] find the difference between "can't" & "won't"
[Jik] Accept opinions are not facts
[v-ball] i'm a peace lover & hate conflict......which is why i've also been designated as the peace keeper in almost every relationship
[andy] my ex was toxic and still is to me
[Domingo] okay i should set boundaries for ME
[Jik] well I need to say g'night all
[SFishy] yes Domingo!
[andy] vball...me too
[Isabel_Knight] Remember you are only human and will make mistakes. Don't beat yourself up for not being perfect.
[Jik] enjoy the rest of the chat
[ferrarigirl] holy cow its packed in here
[MrFishy] v-ball...sometimes facing conflict head on is a means of peace.
[Eilis] remember the difference between what is and what I allow myself to be convinced of what is
[andy] what are boundries and how does one set them???????
[Kensington] ooh good one eilis
[ferrarigirl] can someone fill me in?
[missingmyself] i've tried to set boundaries....but whatever i do, they're not abided by....what do i do then?
[Kensington] boundaries take practice
[Isabel_Knight] ferrarigirl the question is about setting healthy boundaries for yourself....
[Isabel_Knight] Dealing with toxic relationships.
[v-ball] the hard part for me is when my parents have a fight......my father counts on me to resolve it, or at least listen to him like he's right, no matter what
[septangel] boundaries.... It's setting limits for yourself and sticking to them
[SFishy] keep reenforcing them Missingmyself... EXPECT that people will respect them, and point out to them when they don't!
[andy] ^needs help on boundries....anyone up to that challenge?????
[Isabel_Knight] Hi cheerchic
[ferrarigirl] oh, great topic, what should we do?
[Domingo] sometimes when i set boundaries my friends think im being a pric
[CnUcheerchicBg] hello isabel
[andy] im called a bitch when i do....set boundries
[Isabel_Knight] Choose friendships that are healthy for YOU
[septangel] Friends respect boundaries
[Kensington] boundaries require that you respect yourself & you expect others to respect you
[juliaf] (((missingmyself)))..i can totally relate
[ferrarigirl] they may think that dom, but in the long run, they will respect you
[andy] ohhhhh......i dont like me
[missingmyself] it's my mom that doesn't abide by them.........honestly i don't know what more to do........she's extremely controlling
[septangel] someone who triggers you into doing something harmful is no friend
[SFishy] for example andy... setting a healthy boundary for yourself would be not to let people talk to you a certain way in public... like to insult you...
[harshreality] my friend set a perfect example of using her voice today...and although I'm mad, she was honest and clear cut, and things got resolved
[MrFishy] domingo...if taking care of you means being a pri**...then...so be it...cause Ill be one EVERYTIME! :)
[rose_sherman] boundries are the opposite of feeling like i am inherntly bad
[Isabel_Knight] Working on getting to love yourself.
[Domingo] okay.... its probably some of my distorted perception
[Isabel_Knight] Have faith in yoursef.
[andy] how does one learn to "love themselves"?
[Isabel_Knight] Remember you're specia.
[septangel] accept that not everyone has to like you
[Domingo] oooh septangel that's me !
[Isabel_Knight] Andy, it takes time.
[septangel] yeah..me too for the longest time
[SFishy] really great answers everyone!
[MrFishy] AWESOME shares!
[SFishy] Getting to third was a hard one...
[SFishy] learning to set healthy boundaries is difficult
[SFishy] and dealing with or getting away from toxic relationships/friendships can be very hard
[SFishy] but it is not impossible!
[SFishy] We CAN get past that shortstop and 3rd basemen!
[MrFishy] one quk note....
[MrFishy] in baseball...
[MrFishy] when going to third....
[MrFishy] the play is always happening behind you....
[MrFishy] and the key is to RELY and TRUST your coach to help you to know when to slide or go in standing up!
[SFishy] and to have FAITH in what you yourself are doing!
[MrFishy] without a doubt!
[SFishy] one base left... we have to get to homeplate
[SFishy] we have to get home...
[SFishy] Homeplate symbolizes SELF-VALIDATION... SELF-RESPECT... SELF-ESTEEM
[SFishy] and Mike Piazza (catcher) is waiting for us... he REALLY wants to tag us out!
[SFishy] but we WILL score the run!
[SFishy] tell me...
[SFishy] how are we going to get to homeplate?
[SFishy] what are we going to do to get there?
[andy] im going to be honest.....those three things ...i dont have for myself!!!!! HONEST!
[s] run like the wind
[lilsweetie] talk to our T's
[Eilis] I am gonna remember I have good judgement
[septangel] can you steal home?
[lilsweetie] learn to trust people
[harshreality] a CHAIN!!!!!!
[Eilis] and I can trust my support team so
[harshreality] we talk to people beyond our Ts..
[Kensington] remember to validate myself for all the work i've already done
[missingmyself] LOL septangel
[Isabel_Knight] Love ourselves, believe in ourselves, have faith in ourselves and look after ourselves.
[Eilis] i can rely on them for honesty and recognize it as real as well as
[Domingo] i am going to keep setting my boundaries,,,,,
[Eilis] decipher thet for myself
[harshreality] and to look back and see how far we've come
[SFishy] sept: you can steal home this time, but that doesn't solve it for next time you're standing on third base ;)
[andy] M/M fishy.....how does one find those three???????
[lilsweetie] be truthful to ourselves and really look at where we're going
[harshreality] and take pride in knowing that it's one more ste
[Isabel_Knight] Never be afraid to turn back to our support teams if we find ourselves slipping back. Support is always there.
[Eilis] which means setting my boundaries, taking care of me, not allowing distorted thoughts into distorted feelings etc
[septangel] dang... this is where I'm stuck..somewhere between third and home
[Domingo] never be afraid to reach out and ask for it when you need it
[SFishy] andy: start with one of them first... what can you do to learn to validate YOURSELF?
[Eilis] and BEING HAPPY :)
[septangel] in a run down , I think
[Isabel_Knight] Remember what a long way we have come...... we can't throw it all away now... that would be such a waste.....
[Kensington] keep practicing our boundaries & things so they become total habit
[v-ball] it sounds like it's so much easier when you have a support team...all i have is my friends
[andy] i dont know
[harshreality] I'm almost at second...
[andy] i really dont
[juliaf] block out the negatives you recieve from others and trust what you believe in yourself and try to go with that
[cindyf] acknowledge every step i take
[rose_sherman] realize that despit all the s__t we are good and deserving and there is a lot to life that having an ed robs us of
[MrFishy] sept...remeber...a rundown doesnt necessarily mean your out! :)
[Isabel_Knight] v-ball I don't have a support team right now either.
[Kensington] concentrate on the base & run
[harshreality] jeez...a solid 7 months of therapy and I'm still here. lol
[septangel] :) Def not...
[Isabel_Knight] Remember you're specia.
[Eilis] I look at mistakes as lessons and respect them - as long as I learn from em and that makes me feel good too
[Isabel_Knight] Harsh, 7 months is nothing! Try 7 years!
[Kensington] remember that no one did recovery "perfectly", everyone falls
[harshreality] isabel! but your ED didn't last for a mere 3 years...
[septangel] There's still a little fear left...Somehow...I have to overcome that LAST little bit
[harshreality] ahhh! yes...fails over and over again
[andy] i thought that when i got divorced that i would gain all those three
[rose_sherman] if we spent the time at third thinking about whether to run or not we won't get there
[SFishy] good reminder Kens... everyone get called out sometimes! And that's how we learn what to do next time!
[septangel] Like if I get home...there's nothing else to work for
[Isabel_Knight] Remember we are only human. We can't be perfect.
[Eilis] we need to learn from mistakes
[juliaf] try to figure out how to learn from the past and take criticism when appropriate
[Eilis] to be human means to be fallable
[Isabel_Knight] Harsh, my ed actually did last about three years.
[lilsweetie] but once you get to home, then no one will be there to help you out... why would they need to or feel they should anymore?
[Domingo] and its okay not to be right all the time
[MrFishy] ricky henderson who holds the record for the most stolen bases got thrown out hundreds of times...and it NEVER held him back from trying to steal again!
[s] i think it takes confidence
[andy] but all ive gained from my divorce is self doubt and FEAR!!! LOADS OF IT!!!!!!!!!
[rose_sherman] what if you fear getting home will mean the "game" is over???
[septangel] andy, that will pass
[lilsweetie] exactly, rose!!!
[Isabel_Knight] lilsweetie that's not true! Everyone is entitled to support!
[Eilis] and theres a new movie - a true story on a guy from texas
[andy] yeah sept........?
[Isabel_Knight] Its' not only those of us who are sick or have eds who get support!
[lilsweetie] but once you're there, there's no real reason to ask for it
[Eilis] who made it to the pros after he was shut down
[SFishy] rose... the game is never over... just because you RECOVER FULLY doesn't mean life stops!
[Isabel_Knight] Support is always there if you reach out for it.
[MrFishy] andy....that is part of the process.......where will you go from there is the next question :)
[septangel] I was so afriad too... Now, if my ex gives me any grief, I give him the earfull of his life
[SFishy] You'll just be a much better player ;)
[Kensington] the game is really just beginning
[Eilis] coz his kids pushed him :)
[s] can you recover fully, sfishy?
[juliaf] i agree kens
[septangel] I learned a lot from my divorce, I really did. IT's hard andy but sooo worth it
[andy] BIGFISHIES.....i dont know.?????
[SFishy] I did S :)
[Domingo] home is scary
[Isabel_Knight] NOt much chance actually. My parents are canceling their insurance. :-(
[Kensington] anyone can get to homebase!
[Eilis] everyone can :)
[SFishy] home is scary, but we can't stay on 3rd base forever!
[Isabel_Knight] Sorry, meant to whisper
[lilsweetie] but the people who tell you they care only told you that when they found out you were sick
[lilsweetie] sorry if im so negative
[Isabel_Knight] Learn to be happy as the people we are.
[Domingo] i think im still on second but I know with hard work i can get home
[juliaf] hard to stay at home base sometimes though kens
[Isabel_Knight] Accept that we are great people and have made a fantastic journey.
[septangel] I don't know what to do to get from 3rd to home. I don't know what else to try other than just to keep trying
[SFishy] lilsweetie: getting to first base was about surrounding ourselves with people who DO care... now you have to learn to have faith in the face that they really do!
[Kensington] keeping trying is a big thing
[Isabel_Knight] Come to see that you are a much better person without your ed.
[Ensign_Ro] Ya know how sometimes the players run around a bit b4 going to home? Well, maybe that's what we have to do-Run around just a bit, b4 heading home
[septangel] 6 years
[Isabel_Knight] Life is SO much more enjoyable.
[andy] dont know about home plate
[Isabel_Knight] ED = missing out on lots of fun and good times
[s] true true true
[Isabel_Knight] Hi River
[SFishy] Ro: all player have to run the bases many times... and each time they do they learn more and more
[Eilis] its not living to me Isabel
[Isabel_Knight] Having an ED isn't living?
[andy] im going to get tagged...i know it
[Eilis] EXPERIENCE feelings and joy
[Isabel_Knight] I guess it's not really. It's just sort of existing.
[Eilis] thats home base for me
[Eilis] good or bad
[harshreality] even tho you don't want to
[Isabel_Knight] Allow yourself to feel real feelings.
[Kensington] having an ed is having no energy for anything else
[MrFishy] GREAT ANSWERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[SFishy] GOOD answers everyone!
[MrFishy] wow....we just scored TONS of runs!
[MrFishy] Aint no stopin us now!!!!!!!!!!!
[SFishy] ya know....
[SFishy] there is a point to playing the game...
[SFishy] we want to win!
[SFishy] winning means recovery in our analogy here...
[SFishy] but playing the game is the important growth process...
[SFishy] and HOW we play the game
[SFishy] Recovery is a long hard battle...
[SFishy] but worth it!
[MrFishy] many ups and downs along the way
[MrFishy] and no matter how good a player is...
[SFishy] Can everyone tell me...
[MrFishy] he ALWAYS practices before each game
[SFishy] why is winning the game, playing the game... and RECOVERY personally important to them?
[Isabel_Knight] I guess we have to learn to live with the fact that the world isn't perfect and we aren't perfect....
[Kensington] cuz life with this ed aint no life
[andy] well im far from perfect
[Isabel_Knight] 'Cos there's so much to gain from it.
[v-ball] it's important to me because it means being able to live life, instead of watching it
[MrFishy] good point v!
[Isabel_Knight] It's a long hard journey but it's worth every last inch of the way.
[s] true, v
[MrFishy] a player not a spectator!
[Eilis] its important to me because I want to live and be happy and love and be loved and have everything I deserve to have
[s] i want my life back
[juliaf] because that life is great and you get to enjoy it
[slick] because i don't want to let the other people win
[MrFishy] EVERY last inch isabel!
[missingmyself] it's important to me so my daughter doesn't follow in my footsteps
[Kensington] it's time to do all the stuff i think i cant do til i "lose weight"
[andy] can i just watch.....maybe ill learn how to play?
[Eilis] its important because I am worth it
[mpty] its important to me b/c its choosing Life over Death.. and playing = choosing life
[s] good, missing
[missingmyself] that's right mpty
[septangel] andy...gotta do. You'd be surprised at what you can do
[rose_sherman] mpty good one
[Isabel_Knight] But it's not a competition.... it's about us as individuals...
[SFishy] you will learn andy... you are learning already by playing with us tonight :)
[Kensington] my life is worth more than any set of numbers
[Isabel_Knight] Finding our own personal happiness.
[MrFishy] andy...remeber...you can leanr MUCH more by doing than by watching!
[harshreality] the group comes vefore te individuall....tha'ts the culture message
[MrFishy] and today you played AND scored!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[Ensign_Ro] I agree andy!! I want to watch other ppl get a homerun and learn from them
[Kensington] recovery isnt just from the ed, it's learning boundaries & all sorts of things that help out in ALL areas of life
[Eilis] the experience is far better then the movie :)
[slick] are you sure it is possible
[septangel] oh..side note...even the best batters only hit 3 outta 10
[andy] never been good at swingin a bat though....can i clean all the plates?
[SFishy] slick: yup
[Isabel_Knight] Where do you live Harsh?
[v-ball] but you'll never know what it's like until you stand at the bat & hit the ball yourself
[juliaf] because you lern about yourself and with each success and failure you theoretically learn more even if you don't fell like you have
[MrFishy] sept...YOU GOT IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[mpty] to me... playing and choosing Life is not about just SUrViving.. but.. THRiviInG!
[septangel] I'm a team player :)
[Kensington] becuz i've yet to meet anyone who was truly happy being disordered
[septangel] there's no "I" in team
[andy] well hey there mpty
[Ensign_Ro] no I in team, but there is a 'me'!!! lol
[Eilis] hey cant rule out Cal
[s] it's important to hit home base in order to realize our DREAMS!
[Eilis] he showed up for every game :)
[andy] cant i watch????????
[Eilis] no matter what
[septangel] LOL]...that's true
[Isabel_Knight] We have so much to offer in the world.
[Kensington] andy life offers more than spectator sports
[andy] just a game or two?????
[Isabel_Knight] We are all better people for the bad times we have been through.
[MrFishy] AWESOME SHARES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
* MrFishy hands out trphies to veryone!
[SFishy] It's important for us to think about why recovery is important to each of us personally... and it's a good list to make for yourself!
[SFishy] Everyone did a great job playing tonight...
[SFishy] I don't want anyone to sit there and think they didn't play their best -- everyone did!
[SFishy] so pat yourselves on the back!
[SFishy] and tell me...
* MrFishy is PROUD to "play" for this team!
[SFishy] why you are a good "baseball player" -- why are you a good person -- and why do you deserve recovery???
[Eilis] coz I am
[Kensington] cuz i'm a human being damnit!
[mpty] Why? Because I AM
[s] because i am talented
[Isabel_Knight] I'm a good friend.
[v-ball] i deserve recovery because i did nothing to deserve the eating disorder in the first place
[s] I AM GREAT
[Kensington] EVERYONE DESERVES RECOVERY!
[Ensign_Ro] I WANT TO GET BETTER AND LOVE MY LIFE!!
[Isabel_Knight] I was a great nanny, when I worked.
* Eilis SCREAMS BECAUSE I AM!!!
[rose_sherman] I AM!!!!!
[lilsweetie] i deserve to feel special
[andy] CUZ I DESERVE SOMETHING BETTER
[septangel] I AM I SAID
[missingmyself] I'M MADE IN THE IMAGE OF GOD
[lilsweetie] i don't need this
[Eilis] hurts my throat Tony
[s] BECAUSE I WANT TO LIVE!!!!!!
[Isabel_Knight] I have so much potential.
[Kensington] LIFE IS TOO SHORT TO WALLOW IN THE B.S. ANYMORE!!!!!!!!
[mpty] WHY? BECAUSE I AM... I AM HUMAN]]] I AM A PERSON]]] I AM A HUMAN BEING
[s] lol eilis
[slick] b/c i am capable of making a difference & making it better for others - which makes it worth it, no matter how hard
[lilsweetie] i want to live up to my potential
[andy] LIFE IS WAY TO SHORT
[juliaf] this has been a hard one lately to believe
[septangel] Cause my kids and cats would miss me
[rose_sherman] I hav3 a lot to give
[Kensington] RUN FORREST RUN!
[Isabel_Knight] I like to hep others.
[andy] BUT CAN I STILL WATCH A GAME OR TWO??????
[Ensign_Ro] lol, my downstairs neighbor called to complain that all of our yelling is bothering him!! lol
[MrFishy] julia...even the greatest hitters have "slumps"
[missingmyself] MY LITTLE KIDS DESERVE A JOYFUL MOMMY
[Isabel_Knight] Is it OK to want to help others or does it always have to be about looking after yourself first?
[septangel] We'd be short bowler on my Thursday night league
[Kensington] gotta reboot, brb
[Isabel_Knight] Ha ha Ensign!!
[Eilis] humanity deserves us :)
[MrFishy] isabel....helping others is GREAT...but it can NEVER come at ones own expense!
[slick] Dr. Seuss warned us "unslumping yourself is not easily done" -- but in does happen
[juliaf] perhaps because i was helpful in the past and have something to contribute when i am well
[Ensign_Ro] Yeah, I AM good, huh!!! I love making corny jokes
[Isabel_Knight] I can help others through what I have been through myself.
[Isabel_Knight] But sometimes I am better at looking after others than looking after myself.
[s] i just want to smile for a da
[MrFishy] isabel....thats also a way to avoid one own needs if not careful
* Eilis reminds Mr Fishy of the minimum wage of major leaguers
* Eilis thinks: and we played well
[rose_sherman] I need to find a way to feel the control I get from my ED in healthy productive ways
[septangel] Because..ThE BEST IS YEt to COME and I don't want to miss it
[MrFishy] yups elis.....MUCHO dinero!
[andy] hey M/M Fishy??????
[MrFishy] si andy?
[andy] know any good books on learning how to play baseball???????
[andy] im a bit rusy
[Isabel_Knight] LIfe is so much fun - the world has so much to offer.
[juliaf] if you recover you can offer more to society as opposed to draining it
[septangel] My son plays little league...you can come watch
[newo] ty, having puter problems
[MrFishy] andy.....buy your self a book by SARK........that will help you get to the plate and further!
[Isabel_Knight] We don't even have baseball here in England.
[Eilis] if u recover juliaf u offer more to YOU
[s] sark rocks
[septangel] There's Cricket
[SFishy] okay everyone...
[SFishy] it's time for us to wrap up...
[slick] It is not specific but I find much motivation in it when nothing else works and that is Oh the Places You Will Go by Dr. S
[mpty] With all the money spent on bills.. i can go to CLUB MED instead!!!
[SFishy] BTW... SARK is an aewsome inspriational author!
[SFishy] you can go to www.something-fishy.org
[SFishy] and go to the books section (under recovery) for some of her work
[SFishy] and how to buy it!
[SFishy] we'll be posting a follow-up game to tonight's chat in the FISHING FOR SUPPORT forum on the bulletin baord...
[SFishy] so be sure to come over and play :)
[SFishy] and thanks so much everyone! thank yourselves for the great job you did!
[SFishy] never give up running towards homeplate!
[MrFishy] YOU WERE ALL AWESOME!
[SFishy] see you all next month!
[SFishy] take care of YOU!!!!!
[MrFishy] BE good to you!
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