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Below you will find the list of available chat transcripts. Some of the older chats have not been included yet, but will appear here in the future.

Fishing for Support Chat -- APRIL, 2001

[MrFishy] i see some newcomers tonite...
[MrFishy] AWESOME!

[SFishy] I'm going to refresh everyone the rules of tonights chat... then we'll get a-movin
[SFishy] All the same rules apply here as with the rest of the site -- no numbers related to weight, calories, bmi, clothing size, etc...
[SFishy] this chat is a positive one, aimed at recovery
[SFishy] the questions we'll ask
[SFishy] will be hard...
[SFishy] if you can't answer, just try your best!
[SFishy] we only ask that everyone TRY

[MrFishy] trying is the goal!

[SFishy] we'll be talking a bit and throwing questions out for you all to answer

[MrFishy] and we dont kep score

[SFishy] okie dokie... now lets get started
[SFishy] Tonights topic is going to be...

[MrFishy] drum roll

[SFishy] It's essential to recovery... and a lot of times we don't know where to get started in learning to build up our self-esteem
[SFishy] learning to like ourselves
[SFishy] it's hard to learn about your self and liking that person
[SFishy] at times...
[SFishy] we can be our own worst critic...
[SFishy] even unrealistically
[SFishy] and we often have a lot of perception distortion because of that low self-esteem

[MrFishy] First Question....

[SFishy] remember... NO ANSWERS having ANYTHING to do with weight or body size
[SFishy] or any ED behaviors

[MrFishy] Think about one thing you are overly critical about yourself!

[Cala] my art
[juliaf] my grades
[du] my intelligence
[Alexandra] socializing
[Bluestarr] my abilities
[omega] my mother
[Justice] planning too much in too little time
[hippie] my personality
[Janie] achievement (or lack of)
[kris] My self-worth
[Genesis] my intelligence
[PeanutDuck] my writing
[ARTgrrl] my Artwork
[Jorja] personality
[robyn] academic acheivement
[du] my creativity
[Janie] importance
[juliaf] i agree justice
[ARTgrrl] my communication skills
[PeanutDuck] personality
[Genesis] my competence
[Sasha] personality
[ARTgrrl] if I'm selfish or not...
[Alexandra] conveying ideas verbally in academic settings
[PeanutDuck] yeah artgrrl
[Mellia_Joy] work
[juliaf] everything being perfectly done
[kris] how other precieve me
[Stevie] intelligence....
[Bluestarr] my treatment of others
[hippie] my guitar learning
[PeanutDuck] my brain
[Sasha] ability esp in dancing
[Cala] perfection
[Mellia_Joy] writing
[ARTgrrl] the way I carry myself
[PeanutDuck] perception
[Justice] needing support.. I criticize myself for needing things
[hippie] my recovery sometimes
[Janie] everything!
[kris] feeling "needy"
[PeanutDuck] my needs
[hippie] AGE
[PeanutDuck] being a person
[ARTgrrl] ditto the neediness
[robyn] agreed kris, et. al!
[omega] my boyfriend

[SFishy] great share everyone

[MrFishy] GOOD ANSWERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[SFishy] now...
[SFishy] countering this criticism can be difficult...
[SFishy] fighting off the "bad voices" we have -- our own mind telling us how horrid we are
[SFishy] think about your answers above
[SFishy] the next question...

[MrFishy] How can you counter thi criticism the next time you find yourself being overly critical about this thing/situation?

[SFishy] example: the next time I feel badly about trying something new, I will tell myself "It's okay, I'm SUPPOSED to make mistakes. That's how I can learn and everyone makes mistakes"

[Justice] I can remind myself that everyone needs understanding and support
[hippie] I have found countering negative thoughts to be essential to my recovery!!! I shouldn't expect so much in so little time. I have made much progress in the last year!!!!!!1
[Mellia_Joy] Look at how my puppy LOVES me for who I really am, no matter what I do
[PeanutDuck] say everyone has needs
[Stevie] replacing a negative with a positive
[omega] loving myself a lot try to order ideas and
[juliaf] i can't reallly because i have to get high grades
[Janie] look at what I have achieve rather than focus on what I haven't managed to do
[kris] maybe finally realizing i am only human too and have needs and wants like everyone else is ok....
[Genesis] realize that i'm being unrealistic ... and focus on the positive
[Alexandra] I can tell myself that since I can write well I possess the ability to think and therefore if I think more in the socialing situation, then I will be able to speak.
[PeanutDuck] realize I am how I am and that's okay
[Cala] Think about the compliments people have given me in the past
[robyn] remember a time when someone you care about complimented you on it
[hippie] Not everyone will click w/ every personality
[rosyme] I am critical of myself because I always comparing myself to others, how do you stop doing that
[PeanutDuck] Don't compare myself to others
[Cala] remind myself that I am my worst critic.
[omega] feel the feelings
[Justice] I can also pull out the book on Time Management that work gave us because EVERYONE was overbooking thier time
[ARTgrrl] well...people wouldn't compliment my art if it was shitty....so just learn to say 'thankyou'
[kris] learn that my self-worth is more then just numbers and compliments
[PeanutDuck] Look at the good things I have done for other people
[Cala] lol, Ally
[Mellia_Joy] Owning my own feelings in a gentle way, accting them
[ARTgrrl] L)
[ARTgrrl] ack
[hippie] accept those thanks yous artgrrl....REALLY!
[ARTgrrl] [smile]
[Cala] svk!
[PeanutDuck] remember how I've fought to be a writer
[juliaf] justice i want a copy :-p
[Cala] think of the encouraging words
[Stevie] trust in others....in what they tell me
[hippie] mastering the guitar takes more than 10 hours! Lol
[Cala] remember the people that care
[PeanutDuck] my pov is valid!
[Mellia_Joy] Do what I love to do and do it for that reason
[kris] yes - learn to trust others
[Genesis] ignore the negative
[Stevie] not shooting the world and their thoughts down just becuase i hate myself
[ARTgrrl] think of your therapist and the good things you've learned [smile]
[PeanutDuck] believe people
[PeanutDuck] agree on the trust
[omega] looking in my inner
[Mellia_Joy] Believe in MYSELF
[ARTgrrl] Live in the moment
[omega] and try to see the answer
[Justice] I can also just be honest and tell someone what I am thinking instead of lying and saying "I'm Fine". Other ppl w/o eds have similar feelings
[Cala] Trust in others opinions. not EVERYONE is wrong
[Cala] [wink]
[PeanutDuck] right justice
[hippie] I like that cala
[ARTgrrl] [smile]
[robyn] agreed cala!
[PeanutDuck] yeah cala

[MrFishy] AWESOME!

[SFishy] Good answers!
[SFishy] It can be SO hard to counter our own negative thoughts... we HAVE TO keep doing it... even when it feels corny or like it doesn't help -- it DOES help
[SFishy] we have to work slowly to change our own feelings towards ourselves... it's like meeting someone new!
[SFishy] Having low self esteem can become ingrained into our identity... we don't even always realize that it's there...
[SFishy] or how low it is.
[SFishy] Low self esteem shows up in many ways...
[SFishy] insecurities
[SFishy] indecisiveness
[SFishy] isolation
[SFishy] impulsiveness (too impulsive)
[SFishy] perfectionistic
[SFishy] self-critical
[SFishy] distorted perceptions of situations and what people say
[SFishy] being overly sensitive
[SFishy] not being able to take compliments
[SFishy] etc... etc... *phew*
[SFishy] We have to learn to recognize how we're feeling about ourselves...
[SFishy] THAT WAY we can work on liking who we are, not always picking on who we are
[SFishy] think about that... and here's the next question...

[MrFishy] Can you think of one thing you said or did that stemmed from low self esteem that you didnt realize you did until afterwards?

[Cala] umm
[Cala] :thinking
[Mellia_Joy] Not sending in my poetry to a publisher
[PeanutDuck] hmmm
[omega] when people trigger me
[hippie] ALL THE TIME!!!!!! procrastinating on schoolwork for one... I've learned..."FAKE IT TIL YOU MAKE IT" countering the negative thoughts may have taken much effort, but staying in the ed takes more...plus recovery is more rewarding.
[kris] never EVER taking compliments about my progresses at work in my orientation
[Justice] I turned down an opportunity to sing
[Sasha] dropping out of a competition
[Stevie] besides everything you mean?
[Jorja] not speaking up for my opinion in my situations
[ARTgrrl] umm....delaying finishing a mural
[juliaf] the perfectionistic part sounds familair to me but i can't see how it is all related
[Cala] Not going outside
[Genesis] i said i was embarrased to meet my b/f's exgirlfriend becuase i felt inferior ... didn't realize how dumb that made me look
[PeanutDuck] avoided writing
[Cala] not hanging out with people
[Alexandra] behaving much more passively than is normal for me
[Cala] isolating
[Mellia_Joy] isolating
[PeanutDuck] Didn't talk to my advisor during this play festival
[Cala] [smile]
[ARTgrrl] ditto to everyone [smile]
[kris] avoiding the whole world to the point wher ei was gonna pass up meeting friend next month
[Cala] lol, Ally
[Stevie] i blew off this great guy because i couldn't believe he could actually like me
[Cala] silly Ally
[Mellia_Joy] Not calling my therapist
[ARTgrrl] hehe
[hippie] procrastination procrastination procrastination
[PeanutDuck] not doing laundry b/c afraid of running into people
[robyn] turned down in PhD program in exchange for a master's program because I knew i'd "never make it"
[Cala] ahh, yup. Blowing off guys
[ARTgrrl] um...probably punishing myself for things out of my control
[kris] the QUUEN of being indecisive (according to my hubby that is)
[Stevie] not going out to have a fun time with my friends cuz i thought i sucked and that i just couldn't look good enough
[PeanutDuck] guys guys where have they gone?
[kris] pushing hte one man i loved out of my life (and now we are married to different people)
[Cala] not asking for magical icon making powers
[Roseanna] screening phone calls
[Justice] cancelled a date
[juliaf] actually not being able to confront my thesis sponser and tell him he wasn't the right person to sponser me i waited until he admitted he didn't know what he was doing
[hippie] well come to fishy meet in vancouver stevie b/c we don't think you suck
[ARTgrrl] have a pair of overalls in my closet for 8 years and haven't worn them yet [smile]
[PeanutDuck] yep roseanna
[kris] making my hubby deal with the creditors out of fear of them
[Stevie] blowing off appointments with treatment team because i don't feel worthy of their time
[omega] just me

[SFishy] great sharing everyone

[MrFishy] great share guys...thanks!

[SFishy] along the same lines...
[SFishy] OBVIOUSLY we're in an Eating Disorders chat, so OTHER THAN ED behaviors, how else does your low self-esteem show itself... and how does it effect your life?

[hippie] friendship
[kris] hmmm
[Janie] lack of confidence in all social situations
[PeanutDuck] don't buy clothes, avoid poeple, don't go to the theatre
[Stevie] i become withdrawn
[Cala] confidence
[Mellia_Joy] Going back to school - fear of failure
[ARTgrrl] frowning a lot
[Genesis] i don't associate with ppl in my class because i feel inferior
[PeanutDuck] avoid people
[Justice] I overly criticize my work to the point of obsessing
[PeanutDuck] don't make friends
[Stevie] i fear showing myself an dmy thoughts and opinions
[Janie] Never thinking my opinion is worth offering
[ARTgrrl] isolating
[kris] besides avoiding the whole world outside of work you mean?
[PeanutDuck] never talking about me
[ARTgrrl] irritable and yelling at people
[juliaf] i take my anger and turn it towards anything and blame stuff on the place i live and move at least every few years looking for a new start in life
[kris] My mariage is falling apart
[Jorja] depression
[PeanutDuck] can't touch people
[Cala] never smiling anymore
[Roseanna] being sarcastic and self-deprecating
[Mellia_Joy] My divorce
[PeanutDuck] avoiding places where they know me
[Stevie] i stopped being fun...cept when i fake it
[Janie] pushing people away through not letting them close
[robyn] being afraid to show others my "geeky" interests
[Alexandra] exuding an aura of fear when I am around strangers my age
[Genesis] i feel so worthless that i can't study and i may fail out of school
[Sasha] pushing people away
[Justice] not getting out of bed on weekends
[kris] punishing myself for things i enjoy
[Janie] Not voicing my needs
[Sasha] keeping away from people
[PeanutDuck] testing and manipulating people. making them prove they were my friends
[Sasha] keeping emotional distance
[Stevie] not trusting of others
[Roseanna] kicking my boyfriend (the most loving and supportive person in my life) out of my apartment
[Stevie] especailly of what they tell me
[PeanutDuck] letting people walk all over me and pretending I don't mind
[juliaf] consuming my life with my academics and blaming that for isollation
[Genesis] ditto the emotional distance
[Sasha] seeking continual approval and 'evidence ' of being loved
[kris] ditto again
[Mellia_Joy] letting others control me
[robyn] ditto juliaf!

[MrFishy] Thank you all!

[SFishy] now... of course... even when we KNOW IT, it doesn't mean we can fix it...
[SFishy] but knowing is a good tool in the battle
[SFishy] Staying atuned to how we FEEL...
[SFishy] is important to help us figure out how we can change how low self-esteem is effecting our lives...
[SFishy] so, for example...
[SFishy] if you're isolating because of low self-esteem... what is it you're afriad of...
[SFishy] and why?
[SFishy] and how can you challenge that thinking
[SFishy] so you can take small steps to move forward
[SFishy] thinking about how you feel...

[MrFishy] How can you better stay plugged in to how you feel about people and situatons?

[SFishy] example: If I have a bad day at work I can call and friend and talk about my bad day... I can talk to Tony and vent... I can gain other's perspectives and also validate my own emotions

[Cala] plugged in huh Tony? :winky
[Stevie] continue to expose myself to those situations? instead of hiding
[omega] trying to order ideas
[robyn] write it out and reread it every so often
[Mellia_Joy] Back away when uneasy and see what is REALLY going on for me
[Genesis] lol @ cala
[omega] and relax and deep breath!
[Cala] hehe
[Cala] umm, ok, thinking
[Justice] Drawing what I feel and then talk about the art with my therapist.
[juliaf] it is an oxymoron for me because academia is the one thing that boost myself esteem but in a way i can see that it is consuming me so i can't say that it is all that bad but perhaps it is a false sense of self esttem that is provided by it
[kris] i have NO clue at all *sighs*
[hippie] Kick ED out and realize that, sure...the recovery can be like a grieving process, but I must LIVE to enjoy myself and for others to enjoy me
[PeanutDuck] realize that people probably don't thinking about me every second of the day, wasting their time judging me
[Stevie] instead of holding it....finding a healthy release such as talking or writing
[juliaf] ugh that was a hard one
[Genesis] clueless
[omega] run to the chat of something fishy
[kris] i really have no idea what you mean by this question
[PeanutDuck] accept that I have a right to life as much as anyone else.
[omega] try to speak about my feelings
[Mellia_Joy] Taking time for myself to regroup, call a friend
[Jorja] call a friend

* SFishy asks everyone to take a pause...

[SFishy] let me rephrase the question a bit...
[SFishy] Think about a situation...
[SFishy] in which your low self-esteem is effecting your life...
[SFishy] how can you stay in touch with how you feel... and how can you address those feelings (so you may validate them to yourself)
[SFishy] I'll give the example again...
[SFishy] example: If I have a bad day at work I can call and friend and talk about my bad day... I can talk to Tony and vent... I can gain other's perspectives and also validate my own emotions

[hippie] "you are such a downer...no one would want to be your friend." OBVIOUSLY they love me because they haven't let me...no one would take some much time and invest so much energy if they didn't really care (this was in the past)

[MrFishy] [smile]

[PeanutDuck] I'm still not sure
[Cala] I can call a friend
[juliaf] hmmm i think i am still confused
[Stevie] now i'm confused
[Genesis] i isolate myself from my classmates because i feel inferior ... so i should try to force myself to do things with them so i can realize that they are really just like me and i'm no different
[hippie] *left me
[PeanutDuck] yep genesis
[Cala] sit outside in the sun, and reflect and sit about WHY I am truly feeling poorly
[Genesis] which i don't think is the case, but hey .. sounds good
[Stevie] stay in touch? well...sit with my feelings and identify them?
[juliaf] is genisis on the right track? if so i see what you mean?
[Cala] think about why
[Cala] lol
[PeanutDuck] catch myself thinking that bad thought and turn it around
[Cala] Go outside and sketch how I am feeling
[Cala] get in touch with my feelings and deal with them that way

[SFishy] we're talking about identifying what you feel...

[Stevie] talk to someone i trust and tell them what i feel?
[Roseanna] i feel insecure about starting a new career, so i can admit when i'm lost at work and ask for guidance from more experienced employees
[kris] *cries* i am still lost *sighs* oh well
[juliaf] i am not sure what to do then
[Jorja] write in my journal

[SFishy] it's a HARD question all...

[PeanutDuck] try to change that feeling?
[Stevie] just sit with them....go nuts

[SFishy] let me give you another example...

[PeanutDuck] go nuts!
[Genesis] i feel inferior .. i've identified it . now what

[SFishy] If someone I'm friends with yells at me, has an argument with me...

[Sasha] i will generally write in my journal so that i can look at those feelings again later and see if they really were justified

[SFishy] and it makes me want to withdraw from them
[SFishy] I can talk to another friend about it...
[SFishy] tell them how I FEEL about the argument ("it made me feel inferior")

[Genesis] so you want us to FEEL the emotion and not turn to our ED
[juliaf] oh i see now
[Cala] take a walk in the woods and realise that I make mistakes, that I am human. MAKE myself venture out and do something I love
[kris] here - i got one - i feel stupid now for not understand and want to run away from this chat all together
[Stevie] it sounds so easy when you say it
[PeanutDuck] oooohhh

[MrFishy] go with that kris!

[SFishy] and then I can go back to the friend I had the argument with and tell them how I feel!

[MrFishy] tell us the alternative!

[Cala] go sit in my tree

[SFishy] situation -- feelings -- facing the feelings

[kris] but instead i am sitting here and se iam not the only one who is a little lost - i am just voicing it a lot maybe?
[juliaf] i told my academic advisor that i didn't like being stuck in the middle of a professor conflict and ask him to help me resolve it
[Stevie] okay...i could also tell that friend how i feel about the argument instead of leaving
[Roseanna] i will really "look" at the friend with whom i am arguing and hug them, no matter how bad the argument. then start over.
[juliaf] and it worked out today in a meeting with them all * omega face my fears and live my dreams
[kris] Did i do the question right now?!?!?
[Stevie] that's great julia!
[Genesis] my boyfriend puts me down, so instead of taking it, i should confront him and tell him how it makes me feel
[kris] Good Jules!

[MrFishy] you got it kris [smile]

[kris] thanks MrFishy
[Genesis] and i shouldn't bury those feelings
[kris] great - now i can think of lots! LOL
[Cala] okay Situation: have a bad art critique FEELINGS: horrid, bad, not good enough, I SUCK, I'm a failure....face feelings: go outside and reflect upon what having a bad critique REALLY means to me
[Stevie] yay kris [smile]
[aina] my friend dumped me

[MrFishy] so keep sharing till we close it!

[juliaf] thanks stevie and kris [smile]
[PeanutDuck] so it's important we know how we feel and can define it? Do we have to tell someone?
[Cala] Think about what to do to make myself feel better about it
[Cala] in a healthy way
[kris] today at work all my co-wrkers were talking about having "fat days" etc... and instead of craving into it i went and worked with some of our consumers instead
[Cala] Go talk to my art prof

[SFishy] PeanutDuck... you have to get them out somehow to validate them...

[Janie] get someone elses opinion to reassure/rationalise thoughts

[SFishy] that can be in a journal...
[SFishy] to your therapist...
[SFishy] to a friend or family member you trust...

[omega] yes

[SFishy] to the people you're having a hard time with...

[juliaf] also i proved to my boss that i am not the airhead he thinks i am by telling him about my thesis [smile]

[SFishy] or you can talk to yourself about it!

[Stevie] to group as well maybe
[robyn] i write it out with the intention of giving it to the person, but know that i make the final decision of whether to give it to them, keep it, rip it up, etc.

[SFishy] whatever works [smile]

[kris] cool jules
[omega] :D
[Roseanna] smart robyn

[MrFishy] ALOT of great shares here tonite!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[robyn] thanks roseanna [smile]

[SFishy] that is great robyn...

Cala thinks: her head hurts by thinking too much...

[MrFishy] AWESOME AWSOME AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!

[SFishy] tonight is a TOUGH topic -- you're all doing great!

[MrFishy] VERY tuff!
MrFishy is proud of everyone!

SFishy says: give yourself a pat on the back as we move onto the next round [wink]

MrFishy hears the pats from each person

[SFishy] Gaining self-esteem is hard work
[SFishy] and we can start doing it but aren't going to just "feel peachy" overnight
[SFishy] It took a long time to get where we are currently...
[SFishy] so it will take some time to learn to like yourself -- as I said earlier, it's like meeting a new person!
[SFishy] We have to come up with positive steps we can take...
[SFishy] even small ones...
[SFishy] that we can do every day
[SFishy] things to help us explore and learn and figure out who we are...
[SFishy] taking small risks... trying new things... becoming comfortable with the things we like and doing them...
[SFishy] so... here's the next question...

[MrFishy] Name some things you can do, some positive goals you can set, to figure out who you are!!!

[Cala] leave myself little notes in places I look at often....mirror...desk....books...that tell me something good about myself, and some that make me think
[Roseanna] journal daily
[Stevie] do the challenges...in the bowl...and the challenges my therapist gives me
[Genesis] positive thoughts
[Cala] Set a goal for myself everyday
[Janie] I told my boyfriend everytime I said I love you to him I would say the same to myself, or think of something god about me and try to believe it was true
[Stevie] to dig deeper and think a new way
[kris] take some "time out" time formyself (AWAY form the computer!!)
[Cala] try something new each week
[PeanutDuck] finish a new draft of my play, walk everyday
[Janie] Shame he laughed at me!
[Cala] make some "me and tree
[Cala] time
[Cala] lol
[PeanutDuck] recount the good things I've done for others and myself everyday
[juliaf] applying for a new job , getting info on pdh programs, deciding where to move to next
[Roseanna] listen to music i enjoyed during happier days
[PeanutDuck] cala you crack me up
[kris] SING
[Cala] lol, thanks
[kris] and MAKE MERRY!
[Stevie] try new things....to see what i like....read new stuff to see what thoughts and reactions arise
[Roseanna] yes, sing loudly (and my voice sucks!)
[PeanutDuck] hug someone
[Cala] go and sit in the coffee shop and actually *gasp* talk to some new people
[PeanutDuck] say yes when my frined invites me to her house
[kris] go out and try to meet new people and make friends
[robyn] do something with others i know i'm not the "best" at and deal with it!
[PeanutDuck] ask that guy out
[Cala] ack!
[PeanutDuck] I better see him again!
[Cala] lol
[Alexandra] write . . . also be flexible with my daily schedule and don't complete activities simply because they were pleasurable in the past
[Genesis] accept that i am not superhuman, and be happy with what i've accomplished
[PeanutDuck] or not....
[Roseanna] volunteer to participate in community activities
[PeanutDuck] [smile]
[PeanutDuck] yes roseanna!
[PeanutDuck] that too
[juliaf] work with my sponser closely to ensure my thesis is the best it can be this will definatly give my esteem a boost [smile]
[Cala] make myself get up early on tuesdays and thursdays to make it to my class early so I can talk to my crush
[PeanutDuck] woo hoo! cala!
[robyn] i know what you're feeling juliaf - go for it!
[PeanutDuck] work at a theatre
[Stevie] do what i can in order to think rationally so i can "see"
[Cala] watch the sun set with a friend
[kris] work with my supervisor to become a good Sub treatment aide so i can get a fullt time position
[PeanutDuck] talk!!!!!!
[kris] when one opens
[Roseanna] oh yeah, go watch little league baseball games, they are great. to watch the carefree children play is wonderful.

[MrFishy] thanks again!

[SFishy] here's a quick one...
[SFishy] name one small risk you can take, specifically for YOU, that will help you challenge your negativity (like doing something you were previously afraid to)

[Cala] show my paintings to someone new
[Janie] leave the house!
[Genesis] envite a classmate to lunch (yikes)
[Sasha] say "thank you" to a compliment
[PeanutDuck] visit my friends house
[Cala] go up and start a conversation with someone
[robyn] teach a class this summer that everyone but me says i am capable of teaching
[Sasha] dance for people when they ask rather than hiding
[PeanutDuck] agree w/cala
[Cala] lol
[Stevie] pick an outfit...stick with it and take mya ss out
[Cala] k
[juliaf] go to great adventure with people from school and not staying home alone or finding an excuse not to go
[kris] tell my supervisor about how i feel about the room
[Alexandra] I can say hi to people and smile
[Genesis] i can sit by someone in class .. instead of the very back seat in the room where there isn't anyone for 10 feet around me
[PeanutDuck] speak up if I have a problem
[Stevie] silence is a big prob with me.....give that journal i made for my therapist and give it to her
[Janie] yell my supervisors I am unhappy with the work
[Genesis] good one peanut
[Janie] tell not yell!!
[PeanutDuck] [smile]
[juliaf] hand in my school work with out doing it over 100 times
[Cala] ahh....wear my something out in public that others tell me looks good, but I have some doubts, lol. Challenge my negativity
[Alexandra] ask questions in class instead of looking up the answers on my own later
[Cala] ask for help when I need it
[kris] tell people how i REALLY feel about them/myself/etc
[juliaf] i do the same thing alexandra
[PeanutDuck] take criticism un-personally
[kris] ditto peanutduck!
[Stevie] if something bothers me...then speak out....and risk what happens
[Genesis] another good one peanut .. you are just like me [smile]
[PeanutDuck] but of course!
[Genesis] i just can't seem to put words to how i'm feeling!
[Cala] tell someone when they hurt my feelings
[Roseanna] learn how to please the right people... like myself!
[PeanutDuck] [smile]
[robyn] a VERY little one - defending my choice of listening to Peter, Paul, and Mary in my own car!
[PeanutDuck] yeah roseannea

[MrFishy] [smile]

[kris] tell my co-workers when i DO need help
[kris] (i AM still leanring my job!)

[SFishy] GREAT answers!

[MrFishy] GREAT SHARES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[SFishy] so...
[SFishy] thinking about all the challenges that lie ahead... how we can always be working to love ourselves...
[SFishy] I'd like to here some ideas... ideas for YOU... that you think will help you improve your self esteem

[Genesis] not even the faintest of ideas here
[Cala] trust others sometimes when they compliment me
[Stevie] do the feel good about myself journal
[PeanutDuck] ?
[Janie] brain transplant [smile]
[Cala] list all the things I am good at
[Genesis] lol @ janie
[kris] once again - i have NO idea
[Genesis] eat
[PeanutDuck] do what I've been wanting to?
[juliaf] keep working toward my goals instead of what others have set for me and learn to set boundries with my parents
[steeplechase] when someone else compliments me, I should really try to hear them instead of negating what they said in my head
[robyn] whoever said before that we should convince ourselves that EVERYBODY can't be wrong - i really liked that one
[Stevie] continue my meds so i can have a better outlook and a more solid ground to stand on
[PeanutDuck] making friends
[Janie] Concentrate more on the good and positive things and not always listen so much to the negative and bad
[Alexandra] acknowledge my strengths and realize that I don't need to be the best at every single activity
[PeanutDuck] keep with a group
[kris] maybe learn to listen to some of the compliments i recieve
[Cala] play tennis and NOT aplogize everytime I mess up
[PeanutDuck] for some reason I've been wanting to do pottery
[Stevie] do something nice for myself once a day
[PeanutDuck] volunteer
[Cala] give myself a sticker each time i think I did something good
[Stevie] like buying flowers
[kris] make new friends who wont back-stab me or be 2-faced
[Stevie] do random acts of kindness for others
[PeanutDuck] good idea kris!

[SFishy] NOT APOLOGIZING for everything (which a lot of us tend to do) is a GREAT start -- and a good step!

[juliaf] do what i know i can do even if others tell me they don't think i can do it...go with how i feel about thinfgs instead of letting others tell me how i feel that thing
[robyn] give myself tangible rewards for every paycheck i get instead of saving it all (I really need a manicure!)
[kris] setting REASONABLE goals with REASONABLE and HEALTH rewards
[PeanutDuck] yeah I like that
[Cala] [smile]
[Roseanna] adopt a personal mantra each morning and repeat it through the day. today, mine was in a moment of stress and indecision ask yourself bluntly "what do i want?"
[kris] Hey SFishy - Sorry is my middle name!
[Janie] Mine too kris!
[kris] lol

[MrFishy] kris...then there is a resonable goal for ya!
[MrFishy] [smile]

[Cala] smile outwardly when I am happy about something i did
[Alexandra] focus on developing my strengths and not feel bad about less developed parts of myself
[kris] *got caught with her foot in her mouth again*

[MrFishy] [smile]

[PeanutDuck] change it to Rorsy!

[MrFishy] alex...good one!

[kris] reasonable reward - new outfit for NYC trip
[Alexandra] thanks [smile]
[Stevie] force myself out if i don't feel like it in order to improve feelings....and giving myself a better place to fight the negatives
[kris] i like this idea already

SFishy asks everyone to say it every day (and of course right now would be good too) -- I WILL NOT APOLOGIZE FOR EXISTING!

[MrFishy] stevie.....environment can work wonders at times!

[kris] SFishy - say that out loud?!?!?!


[SFishy] yes kris!

[PeanutDuck] I wrote it down
[Cala] make a list of things I like about myself and put it on my wall, and decorate it a little more each day to remind myself of my list
[Stevie] i've started doing that and notice a slight improvement so i hope so [smile]

[MrFishy] SMALL STEPS STEVIE.... THEY ALWAYS get you there!

[Roseanna] be honest with yourself and adore the skin that protects your soul.
[PeanutDuck] catch myself if I start apologizing and take it back!
[steeplechase] believe that I might of done something well when the outcome is positive instead of attributing it to luck
[PeanutDuck] yeah!
[robyn] absolutely steeplechase - internal locus of control, gotta love it!
[kris] dont apologize for using my voice (that is a biggie - i never use it enough!)
[Cala] give myself a hug at the end of the day, and say to myself. I made it. I can do this. And reflect about the things I did good
[Roseanna] have a loved one remind you of your good qualities (they are so hard to miss at times)
[Stevie] i'm gonna try
[PeanutDuck] I do that cala
[PeanutDuck] before I go to bed
[juliaf] tell my parents that they are the ones that hd me 23 years agao and if they regret it is thier problem and not mine
[Cala] and of course, the power to make icons in Chat would considerably boost my self esteem
[kris] go jules!
[Cala] [wink]
[kris] LOL
[Roseanna] you're all such beautiful people
[PeanutDuck] [smile] cala
[robyn] lol

[PeanutDuck] hey!

[MrFishy] [smile]
[MrFishy] I AM VUKLEMPT! Awesome shares!

[SFishy] as we end all of our chats (and yes, and hour has already sped-on-by)...
[SFishy] We want to hear your positive self-affirmations
[SFishy] you know, the one you will right on all those little post-in notes around the house...

[juliaf] [smile]

[SFishy] and say them LOUD!

[PeanutDuck] I ROCK ON!
[Cala] I have great eyes
[Mellia_Joy] I AM beautiful

[MrFishy] YELL UM!!!!!!

[kris] post-it notes around the house?!?!?!
[Roseanna] i have really great feet
[Mellia_Joy] I CAN do anything
[juliaf] I will be successful in life [smile]
[PeanutDuck] I AM ME! ME BE COOL!
[Mellia_Joy] I LOVE ME


[Cala] LOL
[Stevie] EACH SMALL STEP TAKES ME CLOSER TO MY GOAL....so i shouldn't give up so easily
[PeanutDuck] I SAY YEAH!
[PeanutDuck] WE ALL BE COOL!
[steeplechase] I am a loving mother
[Janie] *sigh*

[MrFishy] CMON.......SOME MORE

[robyn] I have attainable goals and i will reach them
[kris] CAUSE I CAN DO ANY THING THAT I WANNA DO (rip-off from blues clues)
[PeanutDuck] I am writer
[Alexandra] I like the way my mind works and can entertain myself.
[PeanutDuck] my mama likes me!
[juliaf] i can be good even if i mess up sometimes?
[PeanutDuck] YES!


[juliaf] that was a toughit
[Mellia_Joy] I NEED MYSELF
[PeanutDuck] I MESS UP TOO!


[Stevie] i can dig deep holes.....why wouldn't i be able to fill em and raise up
[PeanutDuck] A LOT!
[robyn] I help children learn every day and that is important!!
[Janie] i can't think ...
[PeanutDuck] I LOVE MY CAT!
[juliaf] one low grade won['t killl my chances of getting into a good program [smile] (hopefully) [smile]
[PeanutDuck] (seriously)
[steeplechase] I deserve to be heathy
[Sasha] i can receive as well as give
[PeanutDuck] I like my eyes
[Stevie] i'm not meant to suffer needlessly...i'm meant to grab life and live the fullest
[Roseanna] i want to live a full and meaningful life. i want to love and be loved. i want a family to care for. i want 2.5 children and a basset hound. i will win this battle!!
[Cala] [wink]
[juliaf] life is more than school and ed;s
[PeanutDuck] cala ! i'm jealous
[kris] Cause those i work with are beautiful and they see the beauty in me too (they tell me this everyday - and no one should undermind the intelligance of the mentally chanllanged!)
[PeanutDuck] LIFE IS LIVING!
[Mellia_Joy] I AM A FISHIE
[Stevie] i have worth...i have purpose.....i have things to contribute
[Cala] lol, my sisters cat just had kittens
[Stevie] when i'm healthy
[PeanutDuck] DITTO FISHY

[MrFishy] AWESOME!!!!!

[Cala] LOL
[robyn] A teenager told me she wants to go to the same college i did so she can be like me...couldn't ask for more!
[Roseanna] i am a starfish
[Cala] HEHE
[PeanutDuck] I HAVE A LOT TO GIVE!
[Stevie] there is someone waiting for me to find them when i find myself

[MrFishy] robyn...that in itself says alot

[PeanutDuck] ONE LIFE TO LIVE!
[robyn] thanks, i find myself thinking about her comment a lot
[juliaf] that is awesome robyn
[steeplechase] I can make my children laugh and smile
[Stevie] i took a wrong turn in the maze of life......lol
Cala thinks: her throat is getting sore from yelling
[PeanutDuck] [smile]
[PeanutDuck] hehe!
[Roseanna] i want to be a positive role model for my younger sister.
[PeanutDuck] I want people to know me now and remember me!
[Stevie] frankly food is beginning to bore me and same with death
[PeanutDuck] I want to have been a bright star for my short life
[Stevie] i want soemthing else to hold onto
[kris] cause i can
[PeanutDuck] How do you make icons?
[Roseanna] i want someONE to hold on to
[kris] LMAO
[Stevie] i'd like to see my list change...from
[MrFishy] hehehehehehe
[juliaf] (((rosanna))))
[Stevie] how many ways i can die to how many ways i can live better
[PeanutDuck] I want to help someone
[PeanutDuck] yes stevie!
[kris] cause gosh darn it... i am me

[SFishy] GREAT chat everyone!!!
[SFishy] thank you SO MUCH for sharing tonight -- you should all say "I'm proud of me"!

[MrFishy] i am proud of each and everyone one of you!

[SFishy] we've posted a follow-up game on the FISHING FOR SUPPORT forum on the bulletin boards...
[SFishy] don't forget to play-along!
[SFishy] and we'll be posting the chat transcript sometime tomorrow
[SFishy] don't forget to do your affirmations daily -- and to take your risk!!!
[SFishy] everyone can recover and you will tooooooooo!!!!!
[SFishy] We'll see you next month... same time, same channel... last Wednesday (May 30th) at 10pm Eastern Time (7pm PT)
[SFishy] have a great night all...
[SFishy] and TAKE CARE OF YOU!

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