(877) 798-5431
Eating Disorders Anorexia Bulimia Compulsive Overeating at Something Fishy Website
Learn About:
Eating Disorders
Anorexia
Bulimia
Overeating
Binge Eating
something-fishy sitemap  


privacy policy
legal stuff
site updates
sitemap
CONTACT

Mental Health :: Voices :: Perception
Mind & Body :: Symptoms :: Questionnaire
Misconceptions :: Diabetes :: Phobias
Genetics and Biology :: WWW.Warning
 
Perception Part II
Who Are "They"

"They" can be your own voice... yourself... your self-doubt... you inability to communicate... a way to attempt to communicate what YOU are feeling through "they"...

Who Are "They"?

"They" think I'm a bad person. "They" won't like me. "They" don't understand me. "They" think I'm fat. "They" won't think I deserve help. "They" won't think I really need help. "They" think I'm stupid. "They" think my problems are stupid. "They" think I should be over this by now.

Dr. Phil recently posed this question on his show (not a show about Eating Disorders): "did you ever wonder who 'they' are?"

Most of the time "they" is your own negative voice. When in the throws of an Eating Disorder, because of a low self-esteem, it's easy to come to the conclusion that "they" must really hate you, not understand you, think you're a burden, etc. etc., when often "they" is your own sense of feeling unworthy.


None of this is to say that you don't have genuine conflicts with other people in your life... that may very well be the case. At the same time, it's important through the process of self-discovery and recovery to question your perceptions -- to ask if 'they' is really nothing more than your own negative thoughts. Ask yourself if 'they' is really a statement based on your own distorted perception.

An example: Let's say you have an argument with a group of friends. Your friends are concerned about you, but you say to yourself "they really hate me. I'm just a burden to them." Is this true? Are you really a burden and they hate you? Or is it that you, yourself, are convinced of that, when really your friends care about you and are just worried for your health?

An example: Let's say someone in your life hurts you in some way, either emotionally or physically. You say to yourself "they all thinks it's my fault. I know everyone thinks I'm to blame." Is this true? Are you really to blame for the hurtful actions of another person? Or is it that you, yourself, are convinced of that, when really you were genuinely hurt by someone and are having a hard time validating your own pain?

There are many possible examples of when you might use "they" statements when you are really referring to how YOU feel about something. When you are making "they" statements, ask yourself "is this true?" As yourself, "is this true, or is it how I feel?" This is one key to combatting your own distorted perceptions and negative voices.

Using "they" statements can be a way to attempt to communicate your own pain, your own confusion, your own anger (or other emotion). The problem is, it's confusing to those supporting you. It also puts the responsbility of dealing with your emotions back onto you. It also puts the responsibility back on you in how you will cope with any response to your emotions from other people. This is scary. Sometimes it seems easier to blame "them", than to own up to how YOU really feel.

Be willing to challenge your own negative thinking and distorted perceptions. If you didn't have any problems with either, it's highly unlikely you'd have a need to communicate through, hide behind and cope with your emotions by using an Eating Disorder.

Also read: Distorted Perceptions and Negative Voices


:: Mental Health :: Voices :: Perception ::
Mind & Body :: Symptoms :: Questionnaire ::
Misconceptions :: Diabetes :: Phobias ::
Genetics and Biology :: WWW.Warning ::

back to top Back Home
Copyright ©1998-2014 The Something Fishy Website on Eating Disorders: All rights reserved.
Terms & Conditions, Privacy Policy